PTSD in the Aftermath of Narcissistic Abuse

By Kim Saeed | Contemplating No Contact

Feb 01
can you get ptsd from emotional abuse

Victims of narcissistic abuse almost always leave the relationship with PTSD and/or C-PTSD.  These acronyms stand for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

PTSD results from experiencing a devastatingly stressful event or series of events.  C-PTSD is similar, resulting from persistent psychological trauma within an environment in which the victim believes there’s no possibility of escape.  There is a perceived sense of helplessness and one’s sense of self is annihilated.

Victims of Narcissistic abuse experience both.  Let’s say Judy is in a relationship with a Narcissist.  Because of brainwashing, the breakdown of her friendships, and constant verbal abuse, she now believes she is worthless and no one else would be interested in her.  Additionally, the last two times she tried to leave, she was stalked, harassed, and intimidated until she came back.  In her mind, there is no escape.  She is experiencing C-PTSD.

In addition to the above scenario, Judy endured a physical assault by the Narcissist and witnessed him hurt her pet.  She has PTSD from these events.

When it comes to PTSD, intentional shocks inflicted by humans are the most difficult to heal from, such as sexual, physical, and emotional abuse.  In regards to significance, these events fall directly under combat and resistance fighting, such as those that occur in the military.

Warning Signs

If you’ve been in a relationship with a Narcissist, you might suffer from the following:

  • Re-experiencing aggressive acts and comments made by the Narcissist.  Can include bad dreams and nightmares.
  • Hypersensitivity – trouble sleeping, being frightened easily, difficulty with concentrating, and outbursts of anger.
  • Anxiety – being in constant fight-or-flight mode.  This, in turn, leads to physical and emotional fatigue, which later manifest as illness and disease in the body.
  • Being triggered by stimuli in the environment which recalls traumatic memories.
  • Repetition Compulsion – Reenacting traumatic events in an attempt to gain closure – this is why we often re-abuse ourselves after our abuser has left.  This might include stalking him or her online in order to see them with a new partner, negative self-talk, or entering into another abusive relationship.  In other words, trying to complete what wasn’t previously completed.  However, this only enhances PTSD symptoms because it doesn’t heal the trauma.

Impact of PTSD

Left untreated, PTSD and C-PTSD lead to other symptoms and conditions which affect all areas of life.  These include:

  • Inability to handle stress
  • Eating disorders
  • Drug and alcohol addictions
  • Damaged relationships with others
  • A negative outlook on life
  • Depression
  • Specific anxiety disorders such as panic attacks and phobias.  For example, victims who were stalked often develop agoraphobia.
  • Crippled Self-Esteem
  • Loss of career and loss of desire to be productive
  • Diseases such as cancer.  Victims of abuse have higher incidents of certain types of cancer.
  • Suicide

Am I Crazy?

No.  Although it may feel that way, all of the above result from losing the ability to cope with long-term abuse.  You endured traumatic events that became overwhelming.

If you have been a victim of Narcissistic abuse, please make an appointment to meet a qualified health professional who can help you deal with and recover from the emotional trauma you’ve endured.  

Copyright 2017.  Kim Saeed and Let Me Reach

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(110) comments

Elaine September 13, 2017

My daughter has a change in personality along with her PTSD after living with a narcissist.
Thank you,
Elaine

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Jo Smith May 17, 2017

Hello…I am a 29 year old abuse victim. My ex boyfriend tortured, bullied, cheated, gave me STDs, got physically abusive, told me my childhood rape was my fault everytime he got mad at me, he called 911 on me and told the police I was suicidal then the police and ambulance came and I tried to call him repeatedly, find out later he was busy sleeping with someone else while I was “attempting suicide” he body slammed me several times, my family lost a child and we were all upset and crying and he yelled at me to go cry to another man about it….the list of horrifying things he did to me goes on and on and on.

I am generally a healthy person..I work out, eat decently, drink a lot of water, no family history of cancer at all….then I suddenly get Breast Cancer. My doctors were stunned considering how healthy I am, we did testing and everything- cancer does not run in my family.

I am living proof what these monsters can do to a person. One of my doctors believe i got cancer due a traumatic situation. I am telling you now…I know it’s easier said than done but RUN LIKE HELL before he/she literally kills you. I regret and hate myself so much for letting myself go through this.

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    Jw Chadwick June 16, 2017

    I’m terrified to admit that went through some very horrible situations with ex gf of over 3 yrs.
    From the very start, she caused drama daily, constantly accusing me of cheating, assumed I had then passed stds onto me twice in a 3 y r period.
    Drama, her accusations never stopped, was cyclic but never predictable and never did she admit to causing arguments simply for her adrenaline rush which was a replacement for her supposed prior meth habit, always claimed she was clean, Yet acted in ways only drug addicts behave.

    Finally after years of the same problems, always her concerns and issues, never caring how I felt and what she was doing mentally to me, financially as well, I lost all love and faith for her. The mere sight of her just disgusts me. I got to point I wanted to physically hurt as she just would never stop with her accusations of me cheating, not a single time I ever, or put myself in a situation to cheat.

    She constantly with held affection and time from me even if I’d j u st done her the millionth favor she demanded, or provided her with what she would literally demand either in clothes or bills to be paid, Even when sex was used, in her benefit and I wasn’t interested as I knew of numerous times she cheated, she would simply tell me other men would easily replace me.

    Finally, I’d had enough, and cannot stand the sight of her. It’s not bc I miss her, or have love for her, it’s pure anger and it’s been over 6 mos. Still feel nothing but hatred for her. I’ve turned this anger inward, now it’s manifesting as depression, and a low self worth, hopelessness bc I could’ve even get a single apology from her, ever.

    It was her wants, needs and constant demands always, constantly needing to be told how pretty or smart she was, openly stating that everyone loves her….. made me sick and just outright disgusted to be around her.

    Reply
      Alina Caruso October 2, 2017

      We will never get the closure we deserve or feel we need. They’re never going to sincerely apologize for what they did to us or explain why. We’ll also never begin to understand having someone in your life simply to hurt them but that is a GOOD thing. It means we have empathy and are capable of loving wholeheartedly. I’ve beaten myself up so much, rattled my brain completely trying to wrap my head around why, or how someone you love (that claims to love you back) could hurt you so badly. And that’s why we begin to fall into these deep depressions, because “there’s no way someone could be this evil, there has to be a reason” and the only way to justify it in our minds is by accepting the blame ourselves, but it is not our fault! Nothing we did caused them to treat us this way- they are sick, narcissistic abusers and that is why. You finding this post means you now know why, and hopefully you can start the healing there. This is your closure.

      Reply
    Alina Caruso October 1, 2017

    Did you get out? Your story sounds so similar to mine.. We’re even the same age. I hope you are in a better place ❤️

    Reply

[…] now, most of us know that repeated emotional trauma leads to both PTSD and C-PTSD, which should be reason enough to leave an abusive partner.  But, what many people […]

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Rachael May 9, 2017

Hi, so I think I am suffering from PTSD or C-PTSD?. First, I had my second child 4 years ago almost, my husband was verbally/emotionally abusive then, he was young, but at that point i was put through a lot, he burned my journals right in front of me from college, and just told me so much mean and hateful things. I then felt trapped because my parents were supposed to help me with the kids while I was working but they jerked the rug out from under me, without any kind of notice, we were struggling, and I was tired of everyone my husband and my parents who i can not rely on, who are also narcissists, my mom is a complete monster and my dad is her puppet, i will get to that later. but i ended up attempting suicide, I asked for help from my family, was told that I didnt deserve my kids from my mom, and was told all kinds of other stuff by her my whole life that is just wrong. So anyways, i ended up being committed for a week,was diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety and decided to divorce my husband. Well my parents, while i was in the mental facility, painted this picture of oh we will help you and all this stuff. So me being that they are my parents, trusted them, the mental health place wanted to put me in a single moms home which i wish i had done to begin with. Well after a while they started treating my kids like crap, treating me like crap, and in the meantime my Grandmother was on her death bed, and I was supposed to receive an inheritance, that my dad and my grandmother told me about when my grandfather died. I was trying to work things out with my husband, because he was devastated when I left, and he really has changed since we got back together. But my mom told me that I better not get back with him after everything I put them through like a threat. Well they had badgered me about what was going on, and i wasnt really sure at that point in time. My mom proceeded to tell me that i was no longer welcome in her house, my husband and i packed up the kids stuff and my stuff, and I had to move out with my husband. Which my mom claims she never kicked me out. ha! Well, fast forward, and my Grandmother is about to die, the day after my birthday I drove up to see her and held her hand as she took her very last breath. She was my best friend, and that in and of itself was traumatizing. The day After she died, my aunt who was the executor of the estate told me my parents had been sending her emails, begging her to set up a trust fund, because they thought my husband just wanted to be with me for the money I was going to get, and take it and run. I can see where they were coming from, but the emails were absolutely awful. Instead of coming from a place of love and care, they said I was a slob, that I have a bench warrant out for my arrest, that I am a drug addict (all of which is not true),that my sister will do so much better with money (mind you she is the one held up on a pedestal by my mom, my grandparents were my advocates and protectors from my parents my whole life, but they are dead now). They said SO many other terrible horrible things. I was hoping to get my life back on track with my inheritance, but my trustee told me the harder way is the better way so ive been trying my best with that. I never got to have a dream wedding because my mom refused to pay for it. My sister just had one that I did not go to. I do allow my kids to have a relationship with my parents but thats it. I have been told to just forget what happened, but I cant. My husband and I are doing a lot better and we are strong. However my mom keeps trying to rear her ugly head in my life, and im so sick of it. There are nights I literally stay awake just thinking about what happened during that time, and crying and its so freaking confusing. I have so many mixed emotions about it, and I dont even know where to start. It hurts so much that my Grandmother thought all this stuff about me before she died. I mean I just want to think about something else but I cant, its always in my face watching everyone else live their dreams, when we have to struggle paycheck to paycheck, its like my mom gets off on seeing me unsuccessful. It is scary, and devastating, and even though this happened a few years ago its like it happened yesterday, now I do not trust anyone at all. I am taking up drawing and painting, and it does help with getting my mind off of stuff. I was going to therapy, but because I cant get help with my kids being watched I couldnt make the appointments so I just stopped going. Sorry this was such a long post, and Im sure a lot of people have been through way worse, but I literally feel like I am emotionally damaged for the rest of my life.

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[…] PTSD in the Aftermath of Narcissistic Abuse […]

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Anonymous February 19, 2017

I have ended the relationship.
He is in jail 100,000.00 bail for violation of protective order, physical, verbal abuse.
Working on healing. Flashbacks, nightmares, anxiety the worse. The constant fear what is next.
Everyone says you are safe now. They don’t even know what is in your head. The physical person is locked up.
Sometimes you think he is coming upstairs. Just habit.
Can’t sleep , eating is all messed up. Don’t eat and then eat.
I just want out of my head.
I know I will get past this.
Just taking so long.
PTSD IS Real. Unless you have been there you don’t know. Like no control of your thought process.

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    Kim Saeed February 20, 2017

    I can relate, Anon. I went through a somewhat similar situation. I hope you’re in a treatment program to overcome your symptoms. Wishing you all the best.

    Kim
    XoXo

    Reply
Pat Conlow February 19, 2017

I’m free but still trapped

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tillie October 17, 2016

i can relate to a lot here, after leaving my abusive husband (which i now think is a narc) i was diagnosed with deppression and anxity but none of the tablets they tried really worked (well i didnt feel as if they were helping me) and always had nigge;ing feeling there was something else wrong, never really had the nerve to tell my doctor that though… stupid idea in my head saying doctors are doctors and they know better x

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    Anonymous November 9, 2016

    I totally understand what you are saying.
    I am so anxious these days – residual affect/effect; I myself, have seen my GP and reluctantly, have now been prescribed anti anxiety meds!

    Reply
Matt Johnson October 12, 2016

My ex-wife fits every single symptom on the list for this sort of abuse, as well as for sociopathy. I don’t mean that she occasionally exhibited them, but that they were an essential part of her personality. The world thinks she’s wonderful. I’ve done everything right: moved away, still see a counselor, no contact, etc. Its almost three years and I still struggle. She did things to me that I can barely admit to myself. As always, I assumed I was repulsive and somehow deserved it.
Its a long road I guess.

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    R.C. Dodge November 9, 2016

    It takes time. I left my ex and went no contact after 27 years of her abuse. Still live in the area and about twice a year would see her by running into her at a store or whatever. It was EIGHT years before I ran into her and did NOT have an very strong fight or flight type reaction. That was about 6 months ago, and I count that as a milestone. I don’t agree with the author, I think I was crazy the last 10 years of so. I stayed with her at the urging of my family, and her family, for the kids sake. Youngest turned 18 and moved out – and so did I the first chance. Like getting out of prison!!!

    Reply
    Alina Caruso October 2, 2017

    I know how hard this is, especially having no one that understands and feeling alone. We don’t have to, there are so many who have been where we’ve been and we should be able to get through it together. Talking to a counselor that seemingly doesn’t believe half the things that happened to me, or taunts me for staying for so long, because she simply doesn’t understand, isn’t in the slightest bit helpful. But I believe we can help each other. You got away from her and that is amazing; you recognizing you deserved more means you know you do, and puts you one step closer to a happier life and love. Just know that you are capable and worthy of love, and were not at all deserving of the hell she put you through.

    Reply
herms October 12, 2016

after reading this article it all made sense what I have been going through the last 5 years after I left my narcist husband…. i am getting there, but still have that feeling of falling back into this insecure person of who he made me and I had let him do this to me….2 steps and make 1 step back and sometimes 5 steps forward and 2 steps back… step by step I feel I am getting there.
Now 3 out of the 4 kids came to life with me due to the fact their father literally kicked them out of the house with verbal abuse etc etc… you all know what I am talking about. I love the fact that my kids are safe with me but all their scars are taking me back and down to a place I do not want to be anymore and I cannot seem to find a way out … I feel I am being pulled into this hole of desperation, unhappiness, feeling of running away but can’t, depression, panic attacks of which I do not want to be and do not want to feel anymore.

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Shelly August 21, 2016

12 years I experienced this. Until he kicked me out and brought in my former best friend of 35 years to spin his lies to her. I had a lot of emotional trauma in my childhood. Narcissistic adoptive father. My husband dug and dug until he knew everything about me. Then he used that to rape my soul. It took me 5 years and a suicide attempt to realize what was done to me. I already lived with PTSD before him now I have C-PTSD. I used to be a kick ass, confident, professional woman. Now, I have difficulty at work and am no longer the Dynamo I once was. I am also hyper reactive to any perceived emotional abuse from work place bullies. BUT at least I’m safe now. I do isolate myself and love my alone time. I now have major trust issues and am absolutely against letting in any man in my life. I was so fooled by my husband that I no longer trust my own judgment. However, I can feel myself getting stronger and have made a close relationship with another coworker. It’s been a loooong time since I had a best friend. But I know I’m getting better as I now have boundries where I once had none, and I was able to accept her friendship. I will keep on keeping on and encourage the little spark in me and nurture my soul. I am getting better so there’s hope.

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    Elisabeth2016 September 24, 2016

    Hey Shelley
    I have just across this website and just by reading your post – it’s made me feel less MAD! So much of what you said has resonated massively.
    Not sure how this site works, but will post up my response to you…….,

    Reply
    elisabeth September 24, 2016

    Hi Shelley
    Everything you posted – resonated.
    ClearlyI am not going mad…the dirty trick about PTSD or this C-PTSD…it creeps up on you months and months later it seems….Hope things are better (or getting there), for you now.

    Reply

[…] now, most of us know that repeated emotional trauma leads to both PTSD and C-PTSD, which should be reason enough to leave an abusive partner.  But, what many people […]

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[…] is the link that discusses PTSD after narcissistic abuse: PTSD in the Aftermath of Narcissistic Abuse Source: […]

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Donna November 15, 2015

I happy to see this article. It took me a year to realize that I have PTSD because almost everything published about PTSD has to do with military combat. More needs to be published about PTSD related to abuse and/or trauma in adults.

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    s.creech July 30, 2016

    Thank you so much for these stories. I was in a 30 year emotionally abusive marriage. I raised 4 very successful children during this time, which is the reason I stayed. I finally walked away and left him a business, 2 homes,100+ acres of land and several investment properties. The agreement was that he would leave it all to our children. He has since sold 75 acres and has remarried making no arrangements for our children. I am now homeless. Can’t get a job in his hometown and can’t afford to leave. Had some health problems, no insurance can’t work full time and not much of a future to look forward to. I’m 58 worked since I was 16, 2 yrs full time so he could finish his college degree, the man took my whole life then threw me away and I was too afraid of him and emotionally dead to fight for what I had worked all my life for. Now I have nothing.

    Reply
      dee December 18, 2016

      This is why i continue to suffer in an abusive marriage.

      Reply
        Alina Caruso October 2, 2017

        This is why you shouldn’t! Learn from this do not let yourself sink further. My heart broke for her, I broke down immediately reading her story. I am trying to get out of an abusive relationship as well, he isolated me from friends, family, got me fired from my job, I have nothing and no where to run, but this just showed me that regardless, I need too. One day he will be done with me, then what!?
        We need to have some way to take care of ourselves, You need to have something on the side, be it education, a part time job putting away every penny you can, a cushion-something to fall back on, some kind of back up plan. Do not let him take your life, if you take anything from her story please take that. Do not let this be the reason you stay. You deserve so much more, do not waste your life away with this man. And s.Creech I pray that you find solid ground, you did the right thing, he took enough of your time and happiness I truly hope you can get your life back. You are clearly a very intelligent woman and I hope you can find a way to do for yourself what you did for him.

        Reply
PTSD in the Aftermath of Narcissistic Abuse October 23, 2015

[…] Source: http://letmereach.com/2014/02/01/ptsd-in-the-aftermath-of-narcissistic-abuse/ […]

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Darla Star October 14, 2015

The after math of my narc left me with OCD. He made a comment about my cars being dirty and after he abandon me I started to clean and clean and clean and clean. I go to bed at 3 am after getting off an 11pm shift. I wake up to clean. In the back of my head I think he will see how clean I am and return to me. I know this won’t happen though. I got back with my ex Not the narc and he doesn’t realize why I became such a neat freak.

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    Kim Saeed October 14, 2015

    Hi Darla Star, I am sorry you are experiencing OCD tendencies. I can relate, although I developed mine because I felt that they were the only way to have any control over my life. I still have a compulsion to straighten cluttered desks (everything has to be linear – i.e., books lying straight and papers lined up just so), my pantry items must be facing face forward, and gas purchases and the volume on the TV must land on an increment of five.

    With all of that being said, did you know that perfectionism (clean freak tendencies included) is a form of self-abuse? You may want to consider seeing a counselor because I’d love for you to accept yourself without any outside validation (self-love even if your house looks lived in). 🙂

    Reply
javion September 22, 2015

I am a victim of narcissistic abuse. he was never physically abusive but I always feared the potential. When I finally left he did what any narcissist would do….pull the child(ren) in the middle of it. He is a police officer and I’m just a regular citizen. Strikes were against me in court considering he filed for full custody of our child (who he can’t even take care of) and we practically got split physical custody. I later learned the judge over the case played basketball with my ex’s attorney. We went through a 3 day trial that resulted in me getting full custody, but when the final order came through, it read “joint custody” and we were never married and that was not what was agreed on. I had to pay an attorney to correct this huge mistake that gave my ex a land field of room, to manipulate, exploit, and harass me with the court order. it’s even stipulated that I have to be available for him to talk to her 3 times a week when she’s with me, when we already shift her from house to house every 3-4 days. It’s been nothing short of stressful. My ex has exploited the whole “parent-child relationship act and used that as his platform to gain sympathy from the courts. Anytime he badgers me and I ignore him he accuses me of “keeping him from our daughter and damaging their relationship”. He harasses and practically stalks our daughter at her school by visiting everyday and going up there in his police uniform to show off to the teachers. He showers her excessively with attention that he’s never done before until court started. She is only 6 and does not know the difference yet. He also plays on her emotions and makes her feel sad about coming home to me. He subliminally makes her choose between the two of us by making her feel bad or sorry for him. He has 5 kids total by 4 different women that he is no longer with, but he focuses only on the child we have together as the one he just has to have all of this contact with. Our relationship was terrible. So terrible I really can’t take the time to name or remember all the awful things I experienced. I never knew a human could be so diabolical. He purposely infected me with an incurable STD and denied it. He also allowed me to go my entire pregnancy with no warning to protect me or our daughter who he all of a sudden “loves so much”. He has since infected other women as a COP and he still either denies having anything, or points blame on me. He tells so many lies he can’t keep up with what lie he tells whatever person. He continually gets away with ruining young women’s lives because he acts above the law since he is the law. It has been a very traumatic journey for me and many times I feel like just giving up. I know if I give up my daughter would be ruined. She is the only reason why I fight, but in this fight, it has taken a toll on me and getting back to my old self has seemed nothing short of impossible.

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Reblogged this on vckhs7.

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Melinda July 3, 2015

I definitely believe that I suffer from PTSD in addition to being depressed.
I have nearly all of the symptoms listed above. I was abused growing up and I’ve had abusive relationships with men.

I have almost no friends because of what I’ve been through, and my inability to trust people.
I’ve had severe insomnia nearly all my life. I find myself being triggered if somebody looks at me in a certain way or uses a certain tone, because it takes me back to the verbal/emotional abuse I experienced; it makes me feel like a frightened little girl again. I cower and flinch when it happens.

Very low self-esteem, constantly comparing myself to other women, hating myself.
Severe depression and thoughts of suicide, fear of the future. No job or career (don’t want to share too much about this). Dependent on pills to sleep. Constant sadness and despair. I used to drink heavily to numb the pain and was very promiscuous for a while, but not anymore. Now about 60 lbs. overweight and unrecognizable to myself…I gained all the weight after the relationship ended. I can’t seem to lose it no matter what.

Yes, the aftermath is terrible. It turns you into a shadow of your former self.

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    Donna November 15, 2015

    You should see a counselor.

    Reply
    Fi August 10, 2017

    No idea if you’ll read this, but I can relate to virtually all of what you’ve written.

    Somehow, knowing of others whom have experienced similar, gives me hope for recovering from this. Maybe even by talking with people who have experienced similar.

    It’s two years since you wrote this post. I hope things are getting better for you?

    F.

    Reply
mystraightjourney June 16, 2015

Reblogged this on mystraightjourney.

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fletchenkitty March 21, 2015

Reblogged this on fletchenkitty.

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    Kim Saeed March 22, 2015

    Thank you for the reblog <3

    Reply
lynn March 5, 2015

Can this also happen from a situation as described above except instead of a parter it is at work and from a manager?

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    Kim Saeed March 8, 2015

    Lynn, yes…most definitely. A good book to read (if you haven’t already) is “The Sociopath Next Door” by Martha Stout. On a related matter, you may want to consider ways to transfer to another location, or even change companies. I realize that may be an uncomfortable prospect, but sometimes it’s necessary. Best of luck, and thank you for commenting.

    Reply
sml79 February 25, 2015

I’ve been in two relationships with partners who at least have narcissistic traits, now I’m really screwed up and no longer trust people.

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Rachel crowder February 18, 2015

Wow.
I love all the info and insight.

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[…] PTSD in the Aftermath of Narcissist Abuse […]

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positivagirl January 25, 2015

I had severe chronic PTSD when I met the charismatic sociopath. 3 years ago. I had had severe chronic PTSD for 2 years previous to this, 1 year of this spent with a narcissist. Prior to that, the initial PTSD was caused when my child died, I thought i would die too. 5 days of being trapped, and forced into induction of labour 3 days sitting holding a dead child who went to the fridge at night. I started my blog in early 2013, people wondered how did I write in so much detail? I have recently gone back to it and sadly (its made me cry) realised it is because I was so traumatised when the abuse was happening to me, that I registered every single detail. I had no concept of the outside world for 3 years (I was blogging with no concept of the outside world), and it was 10 months after starting blogging – I started to have emotional connection. EMDR is good for PTSD actually for me, sociopath mirroring was also good as it mirrored me, and helped to pull me out.

I never thought I would recover…… I really am getting there, and almost there.

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[…] by: Kim Saeed, Blogger […]

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jill November 8, 2014

I was working hard in a city I hated w 2 kids and pregnant. The city itself made me ill after the first couple of months here and I told him so. I have fibromyalgia with severe chronic fatigue.iwasvery ill when pregnant. When he was a baby I collapsed and couldn’t get back up again which caused a whole bunch of problems he won’t let me forget.I got off some nastypills iwas on for my children’s cildhood. I spent in entire length of their childhood living in a backbedroom. I don’t trust shrinks. Pills they made me take made my life worse. I’M stuck in a dirty SOUTH WEST town. Yards from a pool but he won’t get me a suit I did have an inheritance that he spent. I’m in a crummy apartment next to a freeway under a flight path. I want toleave but have no placeto go.when you hage the way your namesounds you want it changed. He’s thrown out .most of mybelongins. I sleep on a couch with my dog. His car is inhis name but my car is ours? I.lm not the group home type and am too old and donr want to hear the problr kof others. I ju just want out please. More than 30 years of this.no vacation in 35 years. My brother said he hopes I find the right type of pills. Ive beenoff them a year and was never depessed as diagnosed in the firt place. It was I who discovered I had fm/cfs & I told the dr who . Wastreating me for .ms. my kids don’t like that I make these accusations
I ve called that hotline and they didnt help but I dont know what to do anymore. There has been physical injury as well as emotional, sometimes I think my migraines and fm/cfs could have been caused by him. This city isvery dirty I hate cement all around andwish for a cc older fresher place with air and to just be alone and away forever. ..my brother has blocked me.

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Annie November 8, 2014

I have been toying with the idea of PTSD for the past few weeks. This post has helped me to realize I likely suffer from C-PTSD from sibling abuse. I have nearly every symptom associated with PTSD, but haven’t experienced a “severe traumatic” event.

I am 56 years old, each year I feel; more anxious, disconnected, and sad. I don’t enjoy social events, I’m on high alert at all times, afraid of humiliation. When I isolate, I feel lonely. The little confidence I have gathered in life is slipping.

As a child from a family of 10, I was the scapegoat. I was tormented by my next older brother and sister. Every day, I was laughed at and teased. If I tried to get away from them, I was followed and taunted. We lived in the country, so were isolated. I was repeatedly told how stupid I was, ugly, worthless, fat, would never amount to anything, and no one would ever want me. Every mistake I made was a family broadcast and resulted in prolonged taunting. My other siblings did not stick up for me, and often joined in on the taunt. My mother looked the other way, or told me to stop being a baby, they were only teasing me. My dad was sick. At age 15, this brother set me up on a blind date, as a joke, with a 22 year old controlling man. This man “loved me”, the first person who ever said that to me. I became pregnant at age 15, and married him, It was my escape from that home. I divorced by age 19.

I’ve been through counseling twice, but it hasn’t “stuck”. I think this may be because I didn’t address the PTSD. I am a successful professional woman, I am thin, physically active, eat healthy, and have been told I am nice looking. I am married to a kind man, who loves me. I have 2 beautiful grown daughters and 2 lovely grandchildren. I have a few friends, but am very slow to trust.

I have withdrawn some from my family of origin. I still live in the same area, but don’t engage much, mostly holidays or special events. My abusive sister has cut back quite a bit on her hurtful comments, but I avoid her a lot. My brother is unchanged, I think. I don’t engage with him much at all and he basically ignores me. I have found myself in a couple of parallel experiences with in-laws and at work, where I had flashbacks to my childhood, and basically felt “re-victimized”. This has left me more cautious.

I am not suicidal or in danger of hurting my self. I have been treated with SSRI’s for depression and sleep medications, but they leave me feeling flat and groggy.
I want to heal. I want to feel joy, not emptiness, fear and sadness. I feel broken and robbed. This blog has given me some hope that there are others out there who have suffered sibling abuse and could help me heal. I would appreciate any suggestions, insights, or ideas anyone may have. I am excited that some are writing a book about their experiences, as it is helpful to hear from others. I don’t want to write a book, I’m not good at writing, but I would be happy to share more of my story.
Annie

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    Kim Saeed November 14, 2014

    Annie,

    Thank you for sharing your story. I wish I was more experienced in the area of sibling abuse so that I could help you. Typically, I believe most struggles such as the ones you described are rooted in childhood wounds, and as such, healing our inner child is crucial in most cases. I do have a colleague who might be able to help. If you look towards the top of my page, there is a tab for Dr. Jenner, who happens to specialize in inner child healing. He offers a 60-minute, free consultation. (Just so you know, I do not receive any type of compensation for referrals). It might not hurt to reach out to him. Who knows, it could end up being a life-changer. Please don’t give up on yourself.

    Reply
    Anonymous October 13, 2016

    Hi Annie, thanks for sharing your story. After leaving a narcissistic husband I tried many forms of healing. “Breath-work” was (for me) mind blowing! I had 5 one on one sessions then group sessions after that. It’s a life changing experience.. I recommend it for anyone.

    Reply
Samantha L. Petronave October 31, 2014

Hi I would like to re-post this article on my Blog. Its supremely well written and will help me and my readers. If that’s okay, I write a Blog about dealing with the effects of having a relationship with Psychopathic/narcissistic abusers.

Reply
    Kim Saeed November 19, 2014

    Absolutely, Samantha. I would be honored <3

    Reply
Joyce October 28, 2014

I suffered 27+ yrs under my EXs abuse. Even being back in the same locality fr 7 yrs divorce .. hes tryna weasel his way back into my life. So I’m moving away asap.
I suffered 2 nervous break downs & physical collapses.I was afraid he’d hurt the kids. Life is so horrible terrifying .. he was all the abuses bundled in 1. The SAD part is people thought I was an ungrateful wife. (biblically speaking – he committed adultery 6 months into our marriage; bcuz I didn’t believe in divorce .. I stayed n suffered needlessly)
After 8 yrs of prying my youngest daughter fr his grips – she is severely traumatized. But I have talked repeatedly with her about his actions toward her. And at 1 point I saw a lite of recognition go on in her expression. She has become more open to my words now & in time – she will recover. She has her get away plans.
Narsassistic behaviour is like staring the devil in the face. Many times – I felt he was horribly – not normal !! Those individuals r soul rotten … Run away as far as u can n stay away 4ever. They never change!!

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Linda Ortero October 26, 2014

What a twisted world it is. Sometimes we can feel like the Lone Ranger out there. Your not but it feels that way sometimes. Being victimized where ever it is at work, home on the street it is just wrong. Everyone is spinning around in their own little world today. We don’t want to commiserate with everyone not knowing their story. In a perfectly balanced world right is right and wrong is wrong but in reality it’s not that cut and dry. Being a survivor of a narc mother and husband , sister etc from birth through life my views of the world and my life experiences changed the way I see things. It is the same story for every individual who has been traumatized by someone they’ve loved or by someone who by nature should have loved you unconditionally. ( like a Mothers love )How to fix the damage left behind is my main goal. Just to unravel this big ball of yarn. Not to feel broken or fragile or to be testing everyone’s intentions. Setting up land minds not resting or trusting others or myself. These are the issues rolling around in the mind, coloring your view of the world. How hard can it be to love? God doesn’t like ugly is a saying I heard over and over. Hold on to something that carries you throughout the doubtful times. Find peace in the fact you were so close to evil and you were able to see it. You were fearless to call it by its name. Find Joy in the fact you stand tall some days in spite of what you’ve dealt with. It’s not easy being the one in a family or a marriage who’s been the target of a narc and their cronies. How do you fight the lies and slander? Or do you even bother? Do you feel sadness and compassion for those who did not stand up for you? They knew it was wrong. Why did they not have the strength or love for you to stop the narc? There are so many questions we need to answer ourselves. We don’t all have the same questions either. So we don’t have a one size fits all questionnaire. Just being able to vent helps. So good night my friends may Peace and true acceptance show it face tomorrow for us all.????~ Linda.O~

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Joyce Ann Dwulet October 25, 2014

It happens to both genders. My son was a victim.

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PB October 25, 2014

I’m in brisbane Australia. I don’t know where to start when it comes to help, assistance, healing, treatment, etc. I’m doing the best I can, but I’m drowning. Fast. help?!? Please!

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annie October 24, 2014

I was in an abusive relationship 10 years ago, and even though I’m in a stable, healthy relationship now; every now and then something will trigger those old memories again. It’s not fun. I don’t know if I ‘qualify’ for any type of help with this kind of stuff, because it doesn’t really affect my life any more.

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[…] Each Saturday going forward, I will be posting inspirational stories from people who have been the target of Narcissistic/Psychopathic/Sociopathic abuse, but came out victorious.  It is with great pleasure that I share Let Me Reach’s very first submission by Scott Dougall.  His submission was in response to an article I’d written titled PTSD in the Aftermath of Narcissistic Abuse… […]

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silkred September 5, 2014

In a way it takes a while for you to believe that you suffer from something like this, PTSD feels to be something that you suffer from when something real and horrific happens – like may to a soldier in battle or similar – not a middle aged man trying to enjoy flying his hang glider gettng bothered by some self important tosser and his minion followers.

Then when you realise all those revolving thoughts in your mind are the manifestation of cPTSD after years of manipulative underhanded cowardly abuse that resulted in your social disconnectedness and the depressing reality that represents in any persons life, then you get angry at the tosser who did this.

Then, eventually, after going NC, whatever the cost that represents to you in the short term, you find your mind becoming clearer of these revolving thoughts evaporating – I have a therapist now too who helps me reconstruct my self and define a way forward, but it is at this stage when you realise you were really suffering from this PTSD thing you could not come to believe before.

This is real, in a deep sense such that it is inescapably real, not something you can brush away – I think all you can do is accept that you have PTSD and cPTSD and not worry how it got there – the cause – the abuser is an irrelevance – no – what you need to do is accept this and then day by day be kind to yourself – seek happy people – happy memories – write about them – take yourself into peaceful places and enjoy the beauty of each moment.. for me this is my days now – seeking peace..

Feeling joy when I realise I am healing.

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    Kim Saeed September 5, 2014

    This is touching, poignant, and inspiring. Would you mind if I turn this into a guest post/quote? I would love to share this, and I can post it without using your name, if you agree…or, alternately, proudly display it if you so wish <3

    Reply
      silkred September 5, 2014

      I would be proud for you to share… And am happy for you to use my name. 🙂 thankyou Kim <3

      Reply
        Kim Saeed September 5, 2014

        Great! I’ll post it within the next 24 hours or so! Thank you <3

        Reply
        Kim Saeed September 6, 2014

        Hi there, SilkRed…I’m about to post your lovely, inspirational story, but wondered if I should use your Gravatar name or real name, Scott Dooogall?

        Thanks!

        Kim

        Reply
          silkred September 6, 2014

          Scott Dougall… My real name… I’m looking forward to seeing this .. Its nice when ideas gain life in the world.. Thanks Kim.

          Reply
          Kim Saeed September 6, 2014

          Great! Sorry if I misspelled your name in my first comment. I was going by your email address 🙂

          Reply
          silkred September 6, 2014

          Its ok… I misspelled it as a joke… It reads a little like a Scottish accent.. 🙂

          Reply
          Kim Saeed September 6, 2014

          Just posted it 🙂 Take a looksie and let me know if you’d like any changes…

          Reply
          silkred September 6, 2014

          Only thing would be to change… ” like may to a soldier” to ” like maybe to a soldier”… 🙂 I wrote and posted this quickly… Thanks for doing this Kim.. Feels nice to sense connection.. 🙂

          Reply
          Kim Saeed September 6, 2014

          Done 🙂

          I must thank you for following this site and posting about your courageous journey to healing. I believe it may help others who read it <3 It certainly inspired me!

          Reply
          silkred September 6, 2014

          Thanks Kim I hope so too.

          Reply
cyn August 9, 2014

Kim, could the “relationship” with the Narcissist include employer/employee? I am a Surgical Physician Assistant and work very closely with my surgeon/boss. The hours are demanding, and we are generally together 5 days a week, 10-14 hours a day. To be effective, this relationship MUST be one of mutual trust and respect. My previous boss is the definition of a Narcissist. Initially, I didn’t recognize his methods of control, but over time, he became outright verbally and psychologically abusive. He convinced me that I was a poor clinician and that I was lucky to have a job. Fortunately, I have been out from under his thumb for 9 mos, but the effects are still very obvious. I have nearly every sign/symptom of PTSD listed in your blog. I would be very interested to know your thoughts.

ICan’tSwallow

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Bryan July 3, 2014

I am a victim of narcisstic abuse. I’ve burned the midnight oil in order to get ahead while she would consume the profits. I worked two full time jobs while she would drink with her friends. When the weekend would come I’d be stuck cleaning the house and resposibilities overwhelm me while she is blind. Any cries for help would create huge fights. The lack of empathy is appauling with this disorder. I would flee in a beater van for avoidance and sleep in it while she would stay in a north shore home with no shame. The avoidance and lack to protect the family is horrible. My daughter wanted to go to the Dells while I saw a blizzard coming. I stated no although my wife let her go. My daughter was involved in an accident. My wife had sex with me while knowing of the incident and I was told about the wreck when I picked her up. She now left me from my extreme outburst for help in cleaning a once again neglected house. Everyone suffers from the host and it is a downward spiral.

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    Kim Saeed November 6, 2014

    I’m sorry to know of your situation, Bryan…

    I hope you can find a way to leave this situation which has no benefit for you, and may, in fact, be harmful for your health and well-being. You may also be interested in another site that’s specifically for men who have narcissistic partners. It’s shrink4men.com.

    Best of luck. You deserve to be happy.

    Reply
      Anonymous November 6, 2014

      Things have gotten better since my daughters suicidal episode with a 180 BAC. My wife displayed the same behavior and dumped overwhelming responsibility on my 14 y/o. It seems the repercussion of this behavioral issue is parasitic to loved ones. I’ve accepted I’m a caregiver rather than a family member. This reduced my moral anger and have patiently shown corrective behavior. I’m continuing to lead by example for the sake of my 3 daughters. Behavioral issues are as deadly as any disease, just harder to see the bleeding.

      Reply
Leslie June 26, 2014

Oh my gosh . . . this speaks directly to me with every word. People if any of you have small children, get them and youself into counseling NOW before they end up like my son.

I was married 12 years. I could not put my finger on it until now . . . almost 20 years after the divorce. After remarrying (another abuser), I started seeing a Christian marriage counselor. I started reading and doing research. My soul was literally blown away when I started reading about narcissist personalities and the abuse they inflict. Almost each and every thing I read took me back 30 years and echoed all they things I experienced and had been saying for years . . . I just never had a name for it. And I have jokingly been saying for some time that I suffer from PTSD from my first marriage.

People just kept telling me to get over it and get on with my life. But since we had a son, now 21, together, the abuse endured. Now that I have been in counseling I now realize that it was not me, but his evilness. The thing now, which is the absolute worst punishment my ex could inflict on me, is the brainwashing of my son. I dedicated my life to my son and the love I have for him is something I cannot put into words. He is a good guy. I often have said that if God gave me the desires of my heart, it would be to raise my son all over again. His father has taught him to hate me. Looking back I can see how he sowed seeds of hate and disrespect for me. Every time Michael came back from summer visitation with his father, there was disrespect and a bad attitude. I always called it Michael’s readjustment period and had to get him back in line with treating me with respect. As he grew older, the attitude was worse and the “readjustment period” was longer and harder. I know my son has always wanted his fathers unconditional love, the kind that he got from me. And the only way he was going to get his fathers approval was to hate me. It kills me to see my son being used as just a pawn. My ex cares more for inflicting pain on me than what it is doing to our son. I have begged the ex to stop and telling him “Michael should love and respect both his parents. You are encouraging Michael to sin and go against God’s commandment to love his mother.” I have tried to just keep loving through all the hate, but I am wearing thin. I have drawn boundaries such as “please do not talk to me that way. I love you Michael beyond words and would give my life for you, but that does not entitle you to talk to me in such a disrespecting way. It is not honoring to me as your mother.” My side of the family has been totally ignored. And it was my family that has always been there for my son as he was growing up . . not the ex’s.

These last few years, I have just told myself that Michael is young and immature. What son does not want his fathers approval and love. To just give him time and space and he will figure out things for himself as he matures. But each and every encounter with Michael is a reminder of his underlying hate for me. He only calls when he wants something from me. I bought a house in the country with Michael in mind. He is a big hunter and I wanted to give him a place he and his friends could come (and he has many times) hang out and hunt. The house is a fixer upper and I need lots of help around here. Does Michael, despite being here with his friends when I am not here, done anything but eat the food I bought for them. No he has not done anything. His father calls him to help him move cross country (which the Navy is paying for anyway), and he is there for a full month.

I am getting prepared to just cut ties. To now be the one who ignores text messages and voice mails. The boundaries have to be make clearer to him. I pray God will give me the right heart and words.

I pray and pray. Only God can fix this.

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[…] Smell is the only one of our five senses that is directly linked to the lobe of the brain that houses our emotions.  Along with all positive emotions, negative emotions such as fear, anger, depression, and anxiety originate from this area.  This explains why the scent of an apple pie baking might remind us of Thanksgiving at our Grandmother’s house, resulting in feelings of nostalgia and comfort.  It’s also why certain smells can trigger deeply buried fears and trauma, such as those experienced with PTSD or C-PTSD. […]

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FireAndIce April 8, 2014

Reblogged this on My Road To Deliverance with the comment:

One blog where I learnt about PTSD following Narcissistic Abuse – Fantastic insights and spot on!

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firenice84 April 8, 2014

Reblogged this on My Road To Deliverance and commented:
One blog where I learnt about PTSD following Narcissistic Abuse – Fantastic insights and spot on!

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FireAndIce April 2, 2014

Like many of you, I am also dealing with PTSD. However, it is not from a narcissistic partner, but rather a narcissistic mother and sister. I have been trying to write a story about an incident with my sister, but the character is coming out too flat. My friend who’s training to be a psychologist said that everything that I felt – including the anger at the characters were all there between the lines. I’ve been spending time trying to analyse the characteristics and behaviour of sociopaths and people with Antisocial Personality Disorder.to try and get into their heads to make my writing all that more terrifying.

Apart from reading Journal Articles, I have spent most of my day at a couple of blogs. They were heartbreaking and yet extremely insightful. I thought that I was the only one wondering what I did wrong to deserve such abuse and heartache. My hurt has actually manifested physically in terms of horrible chest pains when I get anxious. That was what eventually led to the diagnosis of PTSD later when I got a referral from the Pain Unit because there was no physiological cause for my pain.

I understand the fear, the helplessness and the terror; I live with it on a daily basis. The never-ending replay in the head when I’m awake and in my dreams is torture in its purer form. Sometimes I think that my mother and my sister are still winning because I’m still suffering while they are carrying on in their merry ways. Am undergoing psychotherapy.- have had over 10 sessions now. Am also on anti-depressants and additional meds for times of extreme anxiety which lead to panic attacks.

I have cut all contact with my sister since 2010. In October last year, she tried to make an entry into my life via a Facebook message. I ignored it because I know that whatever I say to her will be the wrong thing to say. I’m pretty sure she’s seething about my ignoring her friend request. She tried using her kids as a manipulative tactic that her kids wanted to visit their cousins (my kids) but she has used the kids too many times as weapons, that I’ve had to harden my heart to it, trusting that the person above will look out for them.

I have had to maintain contact with my mum because of my intellectually disabled brother who still lives with her and dad. Dad is very much the victim too, but he would like the delusion of a connected family – at least until he passes on. I told him that I couldn’t expose myself to my sister anymore. 2 years after my PTSD diagnosis, I finally told my dad in February this year.

On the bright side, though, I am married to a wonderful, sensitive, caring man for almost 12 years now and I have two beautiful children. Without them, I wouldn’t be here to share with you my story. So keep that chin up, dear ladies. Somewhere out there is a man just for you – one who will sweep you off your feet – but not the way a narcissist does.

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    Kim Saeed April 5, 2014

    I’m so sorry you’ve gone through this.

    I wish I had more resources on Narcissistic parents and siblings, but I try to write what I know. Although I could research the subject, I still wouldn’t know what it’s like psychologically, and I don’t want to give advice on the topic that might later turn out to be wrong…

    I would recommend is doing some inner child healing, if you haven’t already. I also listen to Wayne Dyer and Deepak Chopra a lot. Wayne Dyer has an excellent list of “Ways to Transform Your Life” that I listen to often on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZIgJZfnpwgA&feature=share&list=PLdN8xj3BmgCyAc-o1rr3b0tjnYl9Cv09O&index=1

    I know of other people who’ve had to cut ties with their family, including parents, in order to begin healing. I am glad to hear that you are married to a good person. Having a supportive partner helps in many ways…

    Reply
      FireAndIce April 6, 2014

      Thank you for the empathy. It is greatly appreciated, especially coming from someone who has lived with such abuse, albeit in a different form.

      Writing about what you know is understandable. I’m already doing lots of research into Narcissism. I had to take a break from my Psych degree but am enrolled in a creative writing unit now, so have access to the many journal articles available in the uni’s library.

      Thank you for the suggestion of healing the inner child. I had not heard about that until your reply. Will definitely be attempting that, and I think you have given me the push I needed to start my own blog too. Have been thinking about it for a long time, but never got around to it.

      I so look forward to reading your posts! 🙂

      Reply
      Marilyn October 31, 2014

      I am an adult survivor of a sibling sociopath, much the same as FireAndIce. I have read a lot on the topic and can attest that there is much more available about Narcissistic / sociopathic partners than siblings or family members, but there are many parallels. My sociopath sister’s behaviour follows the same path as any other sociopath: the nicey-nicey phase, then the lying, trashing, abuse, and discarding. I can’t go into the details, there are just too many. I’m in my 50s and have endured a lifetime of my sociopath sister’s abuse. Finally, in 2012, i had to cut the ties. I was having intense anxiety which led to nearly constant chest pains, and i knew i was suffering from PTSD, so i got myself to a therapist. Like FireAndIce, i would like to write a book about the family aspect of sociopathy, and i think it would be a cathartic thing to do, to get it down in writing, also very educational for others in a similar situation as what i am. I do not ever expect to speak to my sociopath sister again, and it took a very long time for me to get over my feelings of abandonment, regret, hurt, and shame, but in reading everyone’s posts and all the information out there, i am now on my healing journey. The one thing i will say that is true of any healing process, whether it’s a Narcissistic / sociopath partner or family member, the only way to start the healing journey is to walk away and don’t look back. If you try to engage with a Narcissistic / sociopathic person, they will always find a way to dominate and humiliate you. Good luck, FireAndIce, i wish you well. Thank you Kim Saeed for your insight. I’m learning more every day and thus, healing more too.

      Reply
      Debra June 12, 2015

      I find it interesting that you derive benefits from listening to Wayne Dyer. Wayne Dyer is the trigger that has sent me crashing back down into the abyss with his “Everything is YOUR fault” philosophy.

      Reply
    bellam979 October 16, 2014

    I have the same issues and now added a friend to that mix. I never had chest pains before or any such anxiety until this year. Looking forward to reading both if these blogs. Thank you for sharing FireandIc. My family wants to be connected. Both parents desire that but mother is NOT a unifier especially when she and sister team up. The stories I could tell.

    Reply
      Kim Saeed October 16, 2014

      Bellam979,

      Thank you for stopping by and for commenting. I recently added a tab that talks about PTSD, and also added some various videos that use different techniques to help cope with PTSD symptoms (if you’re interested). Hope you have a wonderful day 🙂

      Reply
    Debronski March 5, 2015

    Thank you so much for sharing your story…..I can really feel for you, you have a lot of insight to see thru your sisters manipulation,I think you made all the right decisions and kudos to you oh and lots of courage too. God Bless and keep you and your family 🙂 !

    Reply

[…] was exhausted, hypersensitive and anxious – all symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. Waves of grief and pangs of longing left me breathless. But, as his hoovering turned to stalking, […]

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threekidsandi February 9, 2014

I have PTSD, from what you describe. Thank you for posting this, and thank you to Teela Hart for directing me here.
http://teelahart.com/category/awards/

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Teela Hart February 7, 2014

I have nominated you for an award, Kim!

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PTSD in the Aftermath of Narcissistic Abuse | FotoJennic February 5, 2014

[…] PTSD in the Aftermath of Narcissistic Abuse. […]

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sweetmarie9619 February 2, 2014

I will try to keep this one short, because I recall writing a book-length comment on a previous post. 🙂

Thank you for this. It brings some much needed attention to the resulting trauma abuse victims and survivors suffer. The conditioning and the neurosis I have left are the things I struggle with most. Defeating the fear of impending punishment some days takes more energy than I really care to expend. But I really do feel crazy. At times, I feel like I should be able to have it under control, even though in my heart I know for the amount of abuse I endured, I am doing really well where I am right now. Why be so down on myself for things being traumatized and HUMAN when I can focus on the what I have gotten through?

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Ixchel February 2, 2014

Reblogged this on Phoenix Rising and commented:
A thought provoking and informative post by Kim Saeed of the blog, Let me Reach.

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Teela Hart February 2, 2014

Reblogged this on Teela Hart.

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PTSD in the Aftermath of Narcissistic Abuse & Why I Am Speaking Out | Moms' Hearts Unsilenced February 2, 2014

[…] PTSD in the Aftermath of Narcissistic Abuse. […]

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Teela Hart February 2, 2014

This post is so informative and has helped me put a few things into perspective. I can definitely identify with the symptoms. Thank you!

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Torn 2 Peaces February 2, 2014

I, too, experienced PTSD from my marriage. The deceit, games, silent treatment, cruel comments, disrespect, threats… And now he’s using my pressure daughter as a weapon. She shows evidence of extreme emotional trauma, but family court doesn’t care about evidence or facts — those can be bought &/or manipulated. I struggle. So. Very. Much.

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    Kim Saeed February 16, 2014

    Torn, have you thought about involving your local Domestic Violence center? They were a huge help to me. They can provide you with a court advocate and transitional housing so you can escape the domestic abuse. Even if he’s never hit you, the staff at the center is trained and they know that emotional abuse can be just as bad, and sometimes worse, than physical abuse.. They also offer other resources like reduced-fee counseling and support groups. It’s important to get authorities involved so that you can start getting yourself and your daughter away from this situation. Also, if you decide to leave, the police will offer to accompany you while you get your things so you can leave. It’s worth thinking about.

    Reply
    Anonymous October 24, 2014

    I am walking your walk. The court system really doesn’t care to hear the truth. Devastating.Allows the crazy to continue. I wish there was a judge to step up to the plate & say enough & care about the truth. If it was their daughter or their son,,,,they would have a different opinion. Push forgery & lies under the rug,,& push the case out. The feeling I can’t express is so helpless. All i could do is continue to ask Jesus please help me.

    Reply
      Anonymous October 26, 2014

      You are right, most law enforcement dont’ care and won’t do anything until it’s too late

      Reply
myahava February 2, 2014

Reblogged this on Courage in French.

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StrongerSoulSurvivor February 2, 2014

Reblogged this on Avalanche of the soul and commented:
If you’ve experienced domestic abuse, you may have PTSD or C-PTSD. Check out this great post on Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder – both of which arise from experiencing significant trauma.

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    Anonymous September 24, 2015

    Thank you for this. It has encouraged me to do something about the”aftermath” of emotions and healing which it will be awhile !!

    Reply
      Kim Saeed September 24, 2015

      Thank you for stopping by and letting me know my article has encouraged you. You’ve given me my own bit of inspiration today. Wishing you all the very best in your recovery <3

      Reply
StrongerSoulSurvivor February 1, 2014

A really useful post Kim. Is it okay if I re-blog?

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    Kim Saeed February 1, 2014

    Certainly! You can re-blog anytime you’d like 🙂

    Thanks for asking and for sharing!

    Reply
    Jodi Arcega May 4, 2015

    I just realized why I broke my toe kicking a heavy bag in a fit of rage over a speeding ticket. Ever, single symptom listed above is ME. My life. Wow! I went through 4-years of narcissistic abuse and physical, sexual, and emotional abuse in my early twenties. Starting intensive outpatient therapy tomorrow. Thanks, Kim.

    Reply
gracielynne62013 February 1, 2014

Reblogged this on Single Parents of Texas Unite – A site to educate, empower and unite single parents.

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    Kim Saeed February 1, 2014

    Thank you for the re-blog. How thoughtful of you. I hope it reaches the people who really need it.

    Reply
      gracielynne62013 February 1, 2014

      I do to. I have wondered if I have PTSD due to the constant attack by my ex-husband over the last 4 years. I think I am okay so far but I could identify with some of the symptoms. Thank you so much for posting such an informative piece.

      Reply
    WORRIED July 27, 2016

    I’am 33yrs old ‘n already suffer from suvere mental illness…me n my 13yr.old live with my Narcissistic 65yr old mother.i never knew how much of a”controling,minupulating, cold heartless troll” she is until i devolped PTSD. FROM my childhood abuse.. that now i believe she was “somewhat responsible for, because of ALL her narcissistic needs.. right now i can idetifi when her attack will come on. For one she plays “a victim” n lies to the police when, i finally engage off in defense n sends me to JAIL! ANYWAY MY 13yr.old is also caught up in this n i worry about his menal health statuse now?

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