Finding real love isn’t easy, or so we convince ourselves. We try to justify our failures in relationships by placing blame on the other person, believing that everyone is out for a perfect mate, that we can never live up to the expectations of another person, and the list goes on. The fact of the matter is, if we change our way of thinking, love will appear as if by magic. And even better, you will attract the person of your dreams.
Let me begin by saying that no human being on earth is perfect. If you begin your mission with a checklist of the traits of what you consider to be present in a perfect mate, you will probably never find love. Every single one of us has something that we could improve upon. Sit down and write a list of your good and bad traits. Be honest and candid. Look at your list of traits that you consider weaknesses in yourself. You would probably try to overlook those traits and assume that if you find the “Right One”, they would overlook your flaws because your strengths are so great. The same goes for your potential mate. You must be willing to compromise. In fact, if you have a checklist, get rid of it. What I’m about to tell you will make your checklist obsolete.
In order for us to attract love into our lives, we must first love ourselves. If you are coming out of a failed relationship, or are simply ready for a connection with someone, use this time to romance yourself instead of delving into the dating pool too soon. Even if you find someone right off, your insecurities and hurts from the past will creep up and abolish the budding relationship into oblivion. Believe me, it might not feel like it at the start, but unless you’ve come to terms with your past and learn to love yourself, you will kill any chance of a long-term love affair. Wouldn’t it be a tragedy to find the woman or man of your dreams, only to send them running away because of your being clingy or possessive? If you love yourself, you wouldn’t feel this way to begin with. You cannot look to another person to validate you. You have to do this for yourself. You are responsible for your own happiness. You must be able to like the person you are when you are alone, and enjoy being with yourself. In fact, the more you enjoy yourself and don’t need others, the more you actually attract them.
So, where do you start? Start with positive affirmations. Let me also add that affirmations in and of themselves will not work unless you believe them. You have to feel them. In addition, they will be much more powerful if you visualize yourself with your dream partner. They might be someone you already know, or someone you haven’t met yet.
Let’s begin with some examples of positive affirmations. These might include thoughts such as:
I am a beautiful person.
Anyone would be lucky to have someone like me.
I have many qualities that make me special.
I am perfect just the way I am.
I forgive myself for any mistakes I made in the past.
I love what I see in the mirror.
Write these affirmations on post-it notes and hang them in your bedroom and/or bathroom. Read them to yourself every day. Tape them to the ceiling above your bed so that they are the first thing you see when you wake up. Read them aloud and believe every word. After all, you are a fabulous being. Anyone would be lucky to have you. The most powerful way to attract true love is to really love you. Even the most beautiful people will never attract true love if they don’t believe in themselves. People are attracted to our light, our happiness, our peace and contentment, and our love for life. So stop feeling sorry for yourself, if that’s the case, because it is the most unattractive trait a person can have.
If you really want to rev up your quest for and conquest of love, incorporate visualization into your daily routine. You can find some very effective love meditations on YouTube. I would suggest beginning with guided mediations about self-love. Once you feel comfortable with yourself, love yourself, and are not lonely because you are alone, you can then start the guided meditations on finding love, finding your soul mate, and relationships. A really good one is remote seduction, which is better suited for a person you have already found and want in your life. I used this one and attracted my Sweetheart. In short, I can vouch for this whole philosophy because it has worked in my life and I continue to reap the benefits of self-love, affirmations, and visualization. Again, the trick is to truly believe.
I have full faith that if you practice these affirmations and visualizations, and believe in them, that your life will perform a 180. Things will begin to fall into place as if by magic. You can use affirmations not only for love, but for every area imaginable in your life. I would love to hear about how this process has changed your life (and I know it will). Just leave your comments on this web page. Happy Affirmations and Visualizations to you!
Join thousands of others who are getting weekly updates, healing tips, and empowered living advice - and receive instant access to:
The Beginner's Healing Toolkit! Start healing from Narcissistic Abuse now!