Moments of Self-Loathing

By Kim Saeed | Narcissism

Jun 05

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I know, seems dark and in contrast to having good vibes ‘n all, but I’m on to something here.  Bear with me 🙂

This morning I spent some time reflecting on the human condition and specific events that have transpired over the course of my life time.  It started out as an exercise in which one is supposed to be able to banish any limiting belief in only 20 minutes flat…for life.  I really just wanted to see what the exercise was all about.  I didn’t finish because, right in the middle, I had an epiphany.

The moments where I have felt the worst in life were those moments when I let someone else’s opinion dictate my actions.  You know, those moments when your intuition is screaming Don’t do it, Don’t do it!…and your heart is palpitating, the capillaries in your eyeballs pop, yet you go ahead and acquiesce to someone else’s choice for you. And suffer the consequences.   I mean, you’d think at some point we’d stop doing that.  Yet, many of us will do it over and over again because, simply, we still think we’re not good enough.  Even after all this time.  Luckily, I left that debilitating trap long ago.

I’m here to tell you………………….

YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH!

I’m not saying you shouldn’t consider another’s point of view.  After all, many of us have spouses, good friends, and colleagues who have great contributions to make in our decision-making.  What I am talking about is going against your very nature because 1) you feel you can’t make the right decision or 2) you are subconsciously seeking validation from outside of yourself.

As long as you keep doing that, you will perpetuate that feeling of self-loathing in varying degrees.  That feeling is your soul, your intuition whispering…Please listen to me for a change.  I know what’s best for you.  Even when it seems impossible; when I tell you to go against the grain; when it seems downright absurd

Think about it…what really defines absurd in the first place?  Dogma.  When in reality, what makes something absurd is when you know it’s not right for you, yet you do it anyway.

Are you going to keep living a life of absurdity?  Keep disliking yourself for seeking another’s validation?  Why not love yourself for a change? 

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