Your beautiful soul

I Still Remember You

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By Kim Saeed

You disappeared so long ago

a slow, painful deliverance.

Your voice was silenced and you became invisible

as you vanished into your captor.

He bled your soul into his veins;

Because he can never be autonomous

He can never be you.

So he stole your spirit and made it his own.

A thousand years became a minute

You dwelled in purgatory, until…

You heard a voice

The voice you silenced

It said, I am still here…

So while no one was looking, you escaped through his laughter

Raw and vulnerable, afraid to be seen.

You hid under a dark cloud

His presence ever-ominous.

Afraid that no one would see you;

that no one would receive you

For you believe you’re not worthy

But, you are worthy.

I still remember you

I see you…not the cloud

I see your beautiful soul

I see the memories of you…the life and laughter you laid to rest

Your kindness, your potential, the contributions you made.

They were there all along

They never went away.

You were blinded…coded to erase yourself

You died to make him alive.

And he can’t survive without your soul

Take it back

Share with us your light…the gift that is you

Because I still remember you…


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45 comments
There are far more for you than against you - Kim Saeed: Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program says February 20, 2019

[…] in this earth.  There is someone with you on their mind as they toil to create what you need.  There is someone who feels your pain and wants to comfort you.  There is someone who has felt your pain so they know how to comfort […]

Reply
Sue says August 18, 2017

Drowning in the pain I’m so Lost it hurts and hurts
You lied for over a. Decade

Trying to find the light, these wounds seem so deep and permanent
It is hell that constantly burns

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My Inner Chick says November 27, 2015

***But, you are worthy.
I still remember you***

gorgeous & powerful. xxx

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leesa says November 27, 2015

That brought tears to my eyes – my soul,my love,my ex.

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akerulife says October 15, 2014

oh.my.gosh. I’m not alone. <3

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    Kim Saeed says October 15, 2014

    No you’re not…<3

    Reply
The Retribution of Jane Doe… | Let Me Reach with Kim Saeed says July 17, 2014

[…] I Still Remember You […]

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made58 says April 28, 2014

Reblogged this on MadeleineMaya.

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xmarrsx says March 26, 2014

amazing words! the silky pace kept me hanging on to each word. excellent piece!

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    Kim Saeed says March 26, 2014

    Thank you 🙂

    Reply
armyofangels2013 says March 26, 2014

This is great Kim! I reblogged it!

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    Kim Saeed says March 26, 2014

    Thanks! 😀

    Reply
armyofangels2013 says March 26, 2014

Reblogged this on Army of Angels and commented:
Recovering after ambient abuse is a journey that has taken me through the fire. Finding my voice was the most precious part of recovery, mostly because it had disappeared without me noticing!

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Kim Saeed says March 26, 2014

Reblogged this on Let Me Reach with Kim Saeed and commented:

For all of you who are struggling to leave your abuser, and for those who are having a hard time with No Contact. I wrote this with you in mind…

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cho wan yau says January 9, 2014

Reblogged this on Gorgeous and commented:
spooky this is me

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cho wan yau says January 9, 2014

Wow that could have been written for me

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Are You Offering Yourself Up to Count Narcula? | Kim Saeed's Let Me Reach says January 9, 2014

[…] This proves how evil, malignant, and malicious Narcissists are.  Their ultimate pleasure in life is having power and control – and ultimately, total consummation – over a person who represents everything he can never be.  While I’ve used a lot of symbolism in this post, it’s very close to the truth.  I wrote a prose about this manifestation titled I Still Remember You. […]

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Mia Amoure says October 21, 2013

It is very descriptive of what it is like to be stuck to the flypaper of a controlling relationship. Once you get one arm free, using your foot to pry yourself off, your foot is now stuck. It took me years to get out. I thought I was free but I don’t know if I will ever be now.

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    Kim Raya says October 21, 2013

    I know the feeling…I’m not sure if I’ve shared this with you, but I have been divorced a year and a half, been remarried, and I’m still not free, mainly because my Ex and I have a son together. He uses this as an excuse to stick his foot in at every opportunity under the guise of asking about our son. It’s a nightmare…Bill Murray’s Groundhog Day from Hell…

    Reply
      Mia Amoure says October 21, 2013

      Ya, a little Groundhog day mixed in with a little of that movie with Michael Douglas and the crazy stalker girl, only it would be the other way around. The stalker would be the guy, getting in the middle of the happiness of the wife and her new husband. Can’t remember the name of the movie but that is what I kinda relate my ex to, he would go to any lengths to either keep me or make sure I found no happiness with anyone else. It’s kinda funny but not really.

      Reply
        Kim Raya says October 21, 2013

        Fatal Attraction…my Ex is like the Glenn Close character, too, minus the homicidal tendency…loves himself too much… 😀

        Reply
imnotyourfavoritepossession says October 15, 2013

Um, literally. I lost my ‘l.’

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    Kim Raya says October 16, 2013

    I don’t know if you got this when I sent it the first time because I didn’t see it under your comments. It might help for you to read this site:

    http://www.new-holistic-medicine.com/Narcissistic-Abuse.html

    It’s written from a male perspective. Keeping my fingers crossed for you!

    Reply
      imnotyourfavoritepossession says October 16, 2013

      Thank you so much! I have been experiencing a bit of a time crisis today (we always seem to be in crisis mode around here), but I wanted to let you know I’ve seen your comments and appreciate them very much. I’m excited to read the link after I pick the kids up from school.

      Reply
      imnotyourfavoritepossession says October 16, 2013

      I read the article, and it does help. 🙂

      Reply
imnotyourfavoritepossession says October 15, 2013

So well said! I recently experienced that moment, when the voice says, “I’m still here.” Actually, it iterally said, “I’ve come back for you.” I was walking around the neighborhood when it came out, so I felt a little embarrassed!

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    Kim Raya says October 16, 2013

    I can see you are in the middle of a very difficult struggle to reclaim yourself and change the situation. Just remember, you DON’T have to be a puppet on a string. You are NOT bad. You ARE worthy. You CAN change the situation.

    Reply
New Beginnings says October 13, 2013

A lovely poem, so poignant to my life right now. Exquisite painting also

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Alma says October 12, 2013

Kim, wow. What a beautiful poem. It is definitely one of those live poems that touches your soul. Wonderful job.

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    Kim Raya says October 12, 2013

    Thank you, my friend…

    Reply
bombladoze says October 11, 2013

Reblogged this on It won't always be bad… and commented:
thank you for this. it says a lot for me. 😀

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    Kim Raya says October 11, 2013

    I’m glad you like it…thanks for the re-blog <3

    Reply
Winky says October 11, 2013

: )

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idiotwriter says October 11, 2013

What a beautiful image to go with these beautiful words.

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    Kim Raya says October 11, 2013

    Thank you 🙂

    Reply
    navigator1965 says October 12, 2013

    beautifulwriter stole my thoughts. Fantastic image, fantastic words.

    Reply
      idiotwriter says October 12, 2013

      It is so on point hey Navigator! I held my breath..

      Reply
        navigator1965 says October 12, 2013

        Yes, I can see that “breathtaking” would not be an exaggeration.

        Reply
      Kim Raya says October 12, 2013

      Thanks…that really means a lot.

      Reply
Renard Moreau says October 11, 2013

[ Smiles ] This is a pleasant surprise, Kim. I had no idea that you were a poetess.

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    Kim Raya says October 11, 2013

    I used to write poems, once upon a time…nothing like spiritual transformation to uncover buried dreams 🙂

    Reply
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