First Christmas Without the Narcissist?

By Kim Saeed | Contemplating No Contact

Dec 20

It’s the Christmas season and the forums abound with people who want advice on what to do about their Narcissistic partner or Ex.  Some struggle to go No Contact, while others consider letting the Narc back into their lives, all for the sake of the Christmas spirit.

Detaching from the Narcissist is no easy feat.  Moreover, the spirit of the holiday season brings with it a certain nostalgia that will lead many to make the regrettable mistake of expecting a “Miracle on Narky-fourth Street”.

Recall Christmases past with your Narcissist.  Remember that particular mean streak they reserve for only special occasions?  Has there been one fond memory during Christmas that lasted beyond their opening the gift(s) you got for them?  Isn’t it enough that they already ruined Christmases past for you and your children?  Haven’t they always been absent from the festive planning (and spending), anyhow?

It may be the Christmas season, but it’s not better to spend it with someone who will abuse you than to be alone.  If you really want to do something special for Christmas, load up on the chocolate and wine (or scotch and your favorite hors  d’oeuvres), nail some two-by-fours to the front door, and put on the Christmas music.  You (and the wee ones, if applicable) can then sing around the Christmas tree in your own version of the Whos in the Grinch That Stole Christmas.  Here are some lyrics to get you started…

Fah No Contact! Dah No Contact.
Welcome Christmas, come this way.
Fah No Contact! Dah No Contact.
Welcome Christmas, Christmas Day. 

Welcome, welcome! Dah No Contact.
Christmas Day is in our grasp.
So long as we have hands to clasp.
So long as we don’t see his a**. (Okay, this last line is only if you’re alone)

As a reminder, the Narcissist’s heart will NOT grow three sizes that day, and he/she will still have all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile.  If you need some encouragement to keep No Contact, hang a page of your diary on the tree, compose a toxic Christmas song out of their last nasty voice mail and put it on continuous loop, or open your medicine cabinet and gaze upon the prescription nerve pills you had to go on when you almost had a psychotic breakdown after their last episode of Narcissistic rage. 

And if that doesn’t work, recall how they almost never bought you a Christmas gift…opting instead to slip you a twenty-dollar bill because they didn’t “get the chance to go shopping.”  Give yourself the gift of empowerment so that you don’t end up loathing yourself for falling for their lies and hoovering once again.

Want help navigating the narcissist during the holidays? Get your free download by clicking the button below. 🙂 It’s a great asset to print out and keep handy whenever you need clarity during the holidays!

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