A Prayer for Those Diagnosing the Narcissist

By Kim Saeed | Narcissism

Jan 10

Dear Lord/ Allah/ Buddha/Universe/Source,

Please help all the suffering souls out there who have unknowingly let a Narcissist into their hearts and lives.

And, please help the ones who want to escape find a way to do so…

Let them know that regardless of what all the books out there written by MDs, PhDs, LCSWs, and MEds say, there is no way to live or “make it work” with a Narcissist.

Allow people who have become the target of a Narcissist realize that 99% of full-blown Narcissists will NEVER be professionally diagnosed with a personality disorder.

Help the world see that it doesn’t require professional credentials to understand that another person is manipulative, controlling, condescending, cruel, a pathological liar, ruthless, malicious, sadistic, and in some cases, homicidal – whether covertly or outwardly.

Give victims help when they suffer humiliation upon suggesting to their disordered partner that they go with them to counseling…because, as You know, they will be ridiculed, raged at, manipulated, and mocked.

Help them in their time of need when, after following the relationship suggestions they found in a book, they suffer the worst character attacks to date.

Help the psychological community realize they are doing damage to peoples’ lives by insinuating there are ways to make things better with a person with NPD, or worse, that their lives can be “more fulfilling”, if they simply change their approach.

Help those who have gotten their disordered partner into “therapy”, only to appear to be the one who needs help due to the covert emotional and psychological abuse they’ve endured, and because the therapist cannot detect the truth of the matter.

Please let those with a background in Psychology help spread the awareness that the chances of winning the lottery are much higher than getting a person with NPD to acknowledge or admit they have a disorder.

Let the authors who have written books about “living with a Narcissist” realize they are contributing to more abuse and instilling false hope when they suggest to victims that there is a “better way of living” with a Narcissist.

Let victims know that when they see the words “Professional” and “Reassuring” in a book title regarding Narcissist Personality Disorder, they should read it with caution.

Let the psychological community realize that no amount of psychological/academic knowledge about NPD or how the Narcissist “got that way” can prepare anyone to live with a person who has the disorder.

Help the world understand that the same “risk factors” that supposedly cause someone to develop NPD also happen to other people, yet other people develop into compassionate, caring, loving human beings (who are codependent).   “Defense mechanisms” or not, Narcissism is ultimately a choice of free will.

Help victims realize that regardless of what “kind” of Narcissist they have as a partner, if they feel that their soul is slowly being killed, they should plan a way to leave the relationship.

Help victims acknowledge that the Narcissist will not change, so they must change, and that doesn’t include tolerating more abuse.  It means leaving the relationship and going No Contact (or Limited Contact in the case of co-parenting).

Help the psychological community understand that we need to stop making excuses for Narcissists and start holding them accountable for their actions; that they should stop rallying around the “it takes two” approach when victims present with symptoms of emotional trauma.

Give victims the courage to acknowledge that one person’s “defense mechanisms” should not cost another person their soul…


**Please note that there are psychologists who are very skilled in detecting narcissism and helping victims of narcissistic abuse.  However, they are very difficult to find.  If you feel your therapist’s services are not helping you, you should consider finding a new one.  

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