How to Pull a 180 on a Narcissist — The Art of Reverse Crazy-Making

By Kim Saeed | Contemplating No Contact

Jan 18

Are you tired of your Narcissist’s constant games?  Does he or she stage scenes in order to make you appear confused, hare-brained, or an all-out lunatic?  Do they insist you’re losing your mind when you ask them about your stuff they keep moving around in a twisted game of Where’s Waldo?

I can relate.  There’s nothing more frustrating than being under constant siege by a Narcissistic Ninny.  If you’re tired of your partner’s antics, why not give them a taste of their own medicine?  I offer the following suggestions to assist you in your endeavors.

Keep in mind that these recommendations require patience, attention to detail, and a strong sense of discretion.  The secret to successfully implementing these strategies is to pace yourself.  Most importantly, under no circumstance should you divulge to your Narc that you are the culprit when they begin to gradually feel the heat. Paying homage never felt so wonderful!

In the Closet

  • Carefully remove two buttons from one of his most expensive shirts.  Hang it back up and wait for the day of reckoning.  When he asks you about it, you’re clueless.

-fotosearch

  • Choose a pair of his favorite shoes.  Replace the shoe laces with a pair of youth-sized strings so he can’t tie them when he puts them on.  Be mindful that the sham shoe-strings are the same color and texture.

 

  • When washing the laundry, put a whole bottle of bleach in his whites…let them soak a while.  Later, when he puts on his socks and underwear, they’ll put apart like string cheese.

In the Lavatory

  • Place a small drop of fish oil or cod liver oil into his preferred cologne.  Not too much.  Caution is key.

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  • When the opportunity presents itself, see if you can interest Fido in exploring the culinary properties of the Narc’s toothbrush.

– Andrew Nielsen

The Gift that Keeps on Giving

  • Write the Narc’s phone number, including the area code, on every $1, $5, $10, $20 you have. Spend them.

-fotosearch

 

Reverse Gaslighting

Sweet Justice

Him:  How do I look?

You:  Fat man in a little coat…

Him: WTF did you say?

You:  That jacket is totally dope…what did you think I said?

Did you successfully exact a little justice?  How did your Narc react in the face of Instant Karma?

**For comedic purposes only.  After all, Karma is Karma**

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(16) comments

Coralie February 23, 2015

lol- Love these- I managed to let kama take its course but wouldve totally tried these things at the time. My N ex-H managed to snag himself a woman who is EVEN WORSE than he is!!! I still get harassed by them ofc- but its mostly the now wife. He doesn’t actually seem that bad compared to her!!! Also- despite telling me numerous times before NC- that he wished he could leave- (several times over several years) He is too broke to do so and just stuck with her! Even better- she decided to have baby number 8 (blended family- 3 his, 2 hers, 2 together plus the new one together)- against his wishes!!!!!

I just laugh now- its becoming a comedy- (years of hard work modified NC because we have children)- Big email rant about my 14 year old who had her door taken off its hinges for two days for constant slamming. Oh how I am the worst mother ever. Miss 14 is a shy child, who really needs her privacy. How dare I do that? and it went on.. and on… At first i was a little annoyed.. then thought .. Wait?? What???…. That child has NEVER had a room in their house- sleeps in the lounge room and has NEVER had even the illusion of privacy. I just had to laugh at the idiocy of the whole thing- She’s a loon and my ex-H N married her and cannot get away!!

Reply
Petra November 11, 2014

Whahaha! This made my day! Pity I already kicked out the narc. I do, however, have a narc co-worker. The phone number thingy is very appealing.

I heard of one lady who put a handful of shrimp inside the curtain rods just before she left. The guy had to move out of the house. The source of the stench was never found by him. Brilliant!

Reply
Jaclyn November 8, 2014

Thank you for this! So wish I had this “back in the day” but I’m happy to see you have “post” ideas too! This is exactly my type of humor. Harmless but helps you to feel like you’re not just getting crapped on with no recourse haha! More “post” ideas appreciated!

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beth January 23, 2014

A little google search for “Guarantted Acceptance Insurance” will bring up a gold mine of indemnity selling companies. If the application is filled out with phone #, the hungry agents will make numerous call attempts to sell the product. Have a heart ladies and help the poor soul find guaranteed healthcare. Eventually they will need something to cover them when the right woman comes along.

Reply
    Kim Saeed January 23, 2014

    LOL! That’s a great one…very funny! Ha ha!

    I haven’t had a good chuckle like this in several days 🙂

    Reply
Tricia January 20, 2014

Ha! You know I don’t live with the narc anymore but I will be doing the number on the money thing. Lol! AND I see his Craigslist ads. He put in all of them, “stop flagging my posts! Im an Anerican citizen and have the right to sell my things!” Lol. I dint know WHO’S flagging them, but I began flagging them too. Ha.

Reply
    Kim Saeed January 20, 2014

    🙂 A lot of people got a kick out of the # on the money one.

    Reply
Kimber January 19, 2014

I personally got great enjoyment out of scrubbing the toilet with my narc’s toothbrush, then putting it back to dry. That was on my way out the door, BTW. 😉

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Susan Irene Fox January 18, 2014

And you look so innocent! 😀

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    Kim Saeed January 18, 2014

    Ha ha! So I’ve been told 🙂 I try to throw in a little humor every now and then to lighten things up a bit!

    Reply
Gaurab January 18, 2014

Lol, It’s funny when I’m reading but I think any one of the above tactics will suffice. 🙂

Reply
    Kim Saeed January 18, 2014

    Thanks! It’s really just for laughs, anyway. But, I have a good friend who once did the whites-in-bleach overdose. It was hilarious 🙂

    Reply
    redhawk January 27, 2014

    Its all hard to pull on the narc I know . As anything even things that go right become someone elses fault. Honestly her kids would get the brunt of it if anyone. karma has its own method n I enjoy watching it occur naturally.

    Reply
      Kim Saeed January 30, 2014

      I agree, I prefer to leave everything up to Karma…I just experience twisted bouts of humor from time-to-time. I did include a “disclaimer” 😀

      Reply
navigator1965 January 18, 2014

Naughty Kim! }:-)>

Reply
    Kim Saeed January 18, 2014

    I know…we all have a little “naughty” side 🙂

    Reply
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