**This article was written for victims of Narcissistic abuse. If you are experiencing Domestic Violence, please contact thehotline.org.
Narcissists enjoy instilling fear in their victims because it makes them feel omnipotent to do so. An added bonus is that it keeps their victims compliant. In their mind, a person with no self-esteem and a great sense of fear is the perfect subservient pawn.
For the most part, fear is nothing more than a conditioned reaction to a perceived danger. Most things we fear, we don’t have a direct answer for. It happens automatically at the subconscious level. This is especially so for victims of Narcissistic abuse because the conditioning occurs consistently, causing paralysis in the victim who doesn’t dare explore their available options.
If you “believe” that something is harmful to you, you naturally will fear it.
Common fears instilled by the Narcissist:
They’re scared because the truth is, you hold real power. At any moment you could decide that you will take your power back, so the Narcissist has to work consistently in order for that not to happen. Your attempts at maintaining a relationship though open communication results in Narcissistic injury (i.e., you ask for respect, for them to stop being cruel, for fidelity, for emotion, for time together). To them, these requests represent a loss of power on their part, so they repeat the above conditioning statements and others like it to keep you fearful.
Most fears result in a self-fulfilling prophecy
Take another look at the above list of fears. Which ones do you believe apply to you? Do you behave in ways that cause those fears to manifest in your daily life? When we hold ungrounded fears we are not living at all, just existing. We become someone who is physically alive but psychologically dead.
Most fears result in a self-fulfilling prophesy. This means that more often than not, our fears become a reality because when we fear unknowingly and unconsciously, we do things that give rise to the prophesy and end up living the thing that we fear the most.
Take your power back – Install new beliefs
When was the last time you looked at your true capabilities instead of the false fears fed to you by the Narcissist? Are you still hanging onto a dream that, in reality, died a long time ago and is quite literally stinking up your present life and that of your family, because of your fear that you cannot find true happiness?
Once upon a time, there was life before the Narcissist. You experienced love, acceptance, happiness, and joy. You had other relationships. These are all within your reach again, but it’s up to you to believe it…and it all starts by releasing the fear of your Narcissistic partner.
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