Does it seem that your Narcissistic Ex is larger than life? Do you struggle with obsessive thoughts about them and wish you could get them out of your head? Do you feel that you love him or her more than anyone or anything else in your life, in spite of the hell they put you through?
The emotional damage we experience as a result of narcissistic abuse results in blocked and negative energy. When this energy stagnates in our bodies, it causes many unpleasant symptoms such as sadness, depression, and physical disease. Furthermore, when we house stagnant, negative energy, we often attract more negative circumstances that affect our relationships, career, and emotions.
Where we focus our attention and energy is where we see the most results in our life. Try to reduce the amount of time spent on the forums and learning about narcissism and, instead, use that same effort to concentrate on your recovery. When you focus on the person who abused you and on the abuse itself, it’s quite possible that you will keep attracting more of that kind of energy into your life.
Processing your grief and anger and sharing your story is part of the cycle. You want to feel validated and understood…but, there does come a time when that phase should be minimized and you turn your attention onto yourself.
Ways to cut the energy ties with your abuser
Below are eight alternative healing methods that are wonderful complements to professional therapy. While there are many other alternative healing methods, the below suggestions are among the most common. It’s best to experiment with all of these in an effort to find the ones that resonate with you. Once you make this distinction, incorporate them into your regular routine.
1) Rid your home of anything the Narcissist gave you or that belonged to them – Inanimate objects can and do absorb the energies of those who use them. Although it may sound bizarre, this is actually the simple law of nature.
Everything is made up of energy, including our thoughts and emotions which submit their own frequencies. When we touch objects, our energy attaches onto that object in the form of energetic “residue”, and whatever emotion we were experiencing at the time is what vibration attaches itself onto the object. Thus, it only stands to reason that if your home is full of things that belonged to the Narc, it is steeped in negative energy.
As soon as you can, collect everything that belonged to the Narcissist and get rid of it. These items might include clothes; jewelry; CDs; movies; pictures; luggage…anything that belonged to them. You can put it all together and have it delivered to the Narc through a third party, or donate/sell the items. Do the same with any gifts they may have given you.
2) Smudge your home – This practice involves the use of essential oils, smudge sticks, tea-light candles, a bowl or shell, a large feather, and a pen and piece of paper. Some people choose to incorporate crystals and stones.
You may also wish to say a prayer while smudging. This can be a Native American Indian prayer, prayers to spirit guides, or prayers that you practice from your particular religion. Whatever means the most to you is what you should incorporate into the ritual. Smudging clears your home of negative energies and emotions.
3) Essential Oils – Entering a space can make you feel light and uplifted, or leave you feeling depleted and drained. Either way, you are responding to the energy of that environment. But did you know that essential oils can help you clear that energy out and raise your vibrational frequency? Some are better than others, but following is a list of oils for this type of work. They are best used in diffusion and air sprays, would not hurt to use it as a body oil either, if you really feel like you need some work done.
4) Release the memory – * Trigger Alert* This will take some time, but can be of tremendous help. This step will require recalling specific events that were especially traumatizing, so you will want to do it when you are able to be alone.
Write a letter to the Narcissist explaining that what they did hurt you. Let them know exactly how you feel about their painful behaviors. If you feel you hate them, let them know. Don’t hold anything back. Then, plan a burial for the traumatic memories, complete with a eulogy. Doing this for individual events is most effective because it provides specific closure where it’s needed.
5) The Sedona Method – According to Sedona.com, “there are three ways to approach the process of releasing, and they all lead to the same result: liberating your natural ability to let go of any unwanted emotion on the spot, and allowing some of the suppressed energy in your subconscious to dissipate. The first way is by choosing to let go of the unwanted feeling. The second way is to welcome the feeling, to allow the emotion just to be. The third way is to dive into the very core of the emotion.”
6) Emotional Freedom Technique – EFT is a form of psychological acupressure, based on the same energy meridians used in traditional acupuncture to treat physical and emotional ailments for over five thousand years, but without the invasiveness of needles. Instead, simple tapping with the fingertips is used to input kinetic energy onto specific meridians on the head and chest while you think about your specific problem – whether it is a traumatic event, an addiction, pain, etc.
7) Reiki Massage – Reiki healing has a multitude of benefits such as emotional clearing, raising the vibrational frequency of the body, and helping to break addictions (such as trauma bonding and the neurological chemical addiction from being with a Narcissist).
8) Enroll in The Essential No Contact Bootcamp — Dramatically increase your chances of maintaining No Contact; have a better understanding of why you feel an unbearable urge to go back to a toxic partner; connect with the real reasons why you break No Contact and then begin healing them; FINALLY join the tribe of survivors who’ve not only stayed No Contact, but have survived and THRIVED after narcissistic abuse.
Why are there so many healing methods to choose from? Because we’re all unique individuals with different personality types, experiences, backgrounds, and learning styles. What works for one person may or may not work for another.
Final thoughts on doing this healing work:
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