Having a hard time going No Contact? Told your disordered partner you’re through, yet continue to check your phone and email like Hem and Haw in Who Moved My Cheese, counting on the texts and emails to be constant? Feeling like the world’s biggest loser when you find nothing…or, feeling like you just took a hit of morphine when you find a simple ‘hi’ from the object of your misery?
Almost everyone who’s been in a relationship with a disordered Cluster-B has experienced the special hell of “electronic repetition compulsion”. Some sufferers of this condition have even lost their jobs because they couldn’t get a handle on this destructive, self-defeating behavior.
So what’s one to do? The urge to constantly check texts and emails from an abusive Ex is one of the strongest urges to overcome and has been compared to giving up an addictive substance. For starters, it’s important to realize that this urge is simply a hidden desire to rewrite history and its origin often goes back to one’s difficult childhood, which is usually how we subsequently end up with an emotionally abusive partner. Instead of checking your phone, do this:
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