Jan 10
Mary Oliver

~ by Mary Oliver

One day you finally knew

what you had to do, and began,

though the voices around you

kept shouting

their bad advice –

though the whole house

began to tremble

and you felt the old tug

at your ankles.

“Mend my life!”

each voice cried.

But you didn’t stop.

You knew what you had to do,

though the wind pried

with its stiff fingers

at the very foundations,

though their melancholy

was terrible.

It was already late

enough, and a wild night,

and the road full of fallen

branches and stones.

But little by little,

as you left their voices behind,

the stars began to burn

through the sheets of clouds,

and there was a new voice

which you slowly

recognized as your own,

that kept you company

as you strode deeper and deeper

into the world,

determined to do

the only thing you could do –

determined to save

the only life that you could save.

 

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(12) comments

Olivia Rose January 11, 2015

I am so grateful for your writing. It has helped me to understand and to start to heal. I have also decided to share my story with others and write as a catalyst to my own healing. https://journeyofoliviarose.wordpress.com/

Reply
    Kim Saeed January 12, 2015

    Thank you, Olivia. I’m glad you’ve started your own blog. I hope it helps you. Just remember to balance the sharing of your story with extreme self-care. Make sure you take time to meditate, go for walks when you can, and anything that is soothing to your soul. If you keep all of your focus on your blog and writing about your abuse, it may be detrimental in the long run if you don’t balance it out. We become what we focus on the most…

    Regarding your depression, you might want to consider taking Vitamin C, Niacin, and drinking kafir. All of those, if taken regularly, can help improve your mood, and make you much healthier in the process. (In fact, high doses of Vitamin C can cure many ailments simultaneously).

    Best wishes for your continued recovery <3

    Reply
Sonya Jones January 10, 2015

Hi Kim, I’m really scared, I’ve suffered from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome for the past 9 yrs an basically my Narc partner (sociopath) is the only one apart from my elderly parents that have stood by me.. I’ve hung on and on, but now my Narc doesn’t even want to hang around.. Even tho I know everything your saying is true and correct, the process is so hard, especially when you are used to them being around.. I was born into a family who are all tainted with the Narc brush and I’m the only High Sensative I know.. So I think I conformed so easily bcos it’s what I’m used to.. It’s what I’ve lived with all my life, so nothing seems out of place.. Except my first marraige, I felt very unloved and lonely.. But I stayed with him for 17 yrs.. And me and our kids left, I found that quite easy as I had strong friendships for support. Now it’s just me.. I’m so scared of the horrible feelings we get, cos it’s painful and hard to deal with.. I’ve wished for all this time that I too could have been born a Narc.. At least I would fit in with society and wouldn’t be consumed by negative emotions all the time. From my perspective, Narcs far outweigh Empaths.. There seems to be a massive shortage of Empaths in the world.. When you talk about NARCS and EMPATHS.. are their other more balanced personality types?? Are there people with the right amount of Empathy and Narcissism? What are they called. Seems to me like we are all loaded to heavily with one or the other!?. Thankyou for your posts.. I love recieving them in my inbox.. I just wish there was a way to fix them and us!! Love you to the moon and back Kim.. And all the others in my shoes!! Xx

Reply
Paula January 10, 2015

Beautiful Journey

Reply
faerdr January 10, 2015

That is so powerful. I am so conflicted about what I should do. Or if I can leave. I realize it’s inevitable, but my emotions or voices like in this poem are so loud. Thank you for sharing this. It helps me to visualize my hope, and courage.

Reply
    Kim Saeed January 10, 2015

    I’ve just posted an event for a 10-Day No Contact challenge on my Facebook page if you’d like to join 🙂

    Reply
RecoveringSiri January 10, 2015

Kim, I have a question. It’s regarding my personal experience with my ex. Why do most men (or at least the ones I seem to be extremely attracted to) want unavailable women? Unavailable meaning emotionally or physically. And I guess part B of that question would be why do most men (or at least the ones I seem to be extremely attracted to) want women that constantly change them, make them feel like they are not good enough, or always argues with them about almost everything, or are not very catering to them? See, Kim I tend to want what I can’t have. I don’t know why. I seem to tend to want emotionally and physically unavailable men (usually these are my ex’s that I still have some type of dealings with). But I have noticed that the men that find great interest in me are the ones I seem disinterested in. Why? And if I find that answer, could that possibly be the same answer that I’m looking for about my ex? Please help.

Reply
inspiredbythedivine1 January 10, 2015

Excellent poem And very pertinent. My hats off to Ms Oliver.

Reply
    Kim Saeed January 10, 2015

    Thanks, Arm Chair P! I enjoyed the poem, as well 🙂

    Reply
Sharon Greene January 10, 2015

I love this poem. Change is scary but it is the only was to move ahead instead of staying stagnant.

Reply
    Kim Saeed January 10, 2015

    Indeed, Sharon. My own journey lasted a long time, but now that I’m out of the woods, my life is better than it’s ever been.

    Seems you’ve had your own journey, as well…

    Reply
      Sharon Greene January 10, 2015

      Yes my journey has been long and it was not one I ever intended to take.

      Reply
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