Narcissists are wonderful at playing the part of the loving, caring partner. That’s why it’s so surprising when their true colors start to show. Sometimes, though, they tell us who they are in the beginning of the relationship while appearing seemingly innocent.
If you are an Empath, INFJ, and/or Codependent and have heard phrases such as the following from your partner, you’ll want to reconsider the relationship and not brush these comments aside (as you may feel naturally inclined to do).
“I’m not that great at being monogamous.”
“I guess I’ll never grow up.”
“I always seem to hurt people without meaning to.”
“I may have a roaming eye, but you’re the one I really love.”
“I have a problem with being told what to do.”
“I’m a sex addict.” (REAL sex addicts would rather have a root canal than admit to being a sex addict. The narcissist “admits” this early on in the relationship to justify their multiple partners and online dating profiles that you will discover later).
“I’m a porn addict” (Again, who “admits” this without feeling at least some sense of it appearing unbecoming to a new partner. They are just getting it all out upfront since you will discover their porn activity sooner or later).
“I have anger management issues.”
These kinds of statements are the narcissist’s way of laying the groundwork. They’ve already picked up on your being a forgiving type of person, and they throw these statements around in a casual way to monitor your reaction. Empaths and Codependents are notorious for being overly nice and forgiving, so typically, our natural reaction is to think “Nobody’s perfect. I’m sure we can work around it.” This is wonderful news for the Narcissist, and clears them from any wrong-doing in their mind.
However, if your partner has made a casual confession such as the ones above, they will use it as ammunition later, such as by saying, “I told you I was like this in the beginning. You KNEW this about me, so what are you complaining about? You seemed okay with it before, what’s the problem now?” In short, they will accept no accountability for their actions, while you’re left in a very compromising position because the truth is, what they’re saying is correct!
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