You and your Narcissistic partner have agreed that things just aren’t working out between the two of you.
You’ve heard all the reasons why you could never be an ideal companion for them.
In the middle of the discussion, he or she turns, gives you a pensive look and says, “I know we can’t be together, but I care about you a lot and don’t want to lose you completely. Can we just be friends?”
You might as well call their new supply and invite him or her to stay in the bedroom where you and the Narcissist sleep together. In fact, expect your bedroom to turn into community property as the Narcissist plays the both of you like fiddles.
Before we go into why their “Let’s be friends” suggestion is the most ridiculous scam ever, let’s examine why the two of you agreed that the relationship is over.
As for why the “Let’s be friends” line is an epic scam, all you need to do is review the above reasons for why the relationship isn’t working. First of all, how can someone who’s mistreating you in such brutal ways ever make a good friend? In fact, why would you be willing to keep someone like that in your life? Sure, they may have given you the impression that they cared at some point in history, but would you treat your friends like that? Would you want your son or daughter dating someone like that?
I doubt it. And you shouldn’t settle for such trickery, either.
So, why does the Narcissist suggest being friends?
The Narcissist makes this suggestion for one reason only. They don’t want to commit, yet they want to keep you around as an option–including in the bedroom–as well as maintain their influence and control over your life. They know full well that it would be impossible for you to move on, much less heal from their abuse, while they are still around. You simply cannot look at things in a different light while being right in the middle of a situation.
The only solution is to step outside your situation … and after a while, you will see things in a different light. You will learn more about yourself and what really happened in the relationship. It will feel like an awakening.
Yep, it’s that simple. If you are considering being “friends” with a person who considers you an option while treating you like an outcast from skid row, then you may want to investigate the reasons why you’re considering such an arrangement. Even more importantly, you’ll want to entertain the idea that there are people out there in the world who would actually appreciate you, care about your dreams, and love you.