Apr 18

by ~ HB

When you look in the mirror what do you see?
Can you honestly say it’s who you want to be?
Looking clearly deep into your soul,
No fraction of guilt when my heart you stole?
The world is your mirror, people’s adoration,
You bask in their praise, you are their creation.
An illusion which distracts and is not to capture,
Your intangible image is to be adored in rapture.
Before, I believed you to be pure and shy,
But ultimately you made me hurt and cry.
A wolf in sheep’s clothing, did I deserve?
Was I too intense, not enough reserve?
You created for me a pie in the sky,
Never real truth; but I don’t know why.
I believed every word, loving you fully,
You made my brain all kinds of woolly.
Out of the magician’s hat you pulled your disguise,
I believed and worshipped, heart innocent, unwise.
You broke my mirror into a thousand shards,
Piercing my vision, another of your facades.
The pieces are scattered all over the ground,
Frantically I search; soul nowhere to be found.
Misfortune and loss a broken mirror does bring,
To survive, being a zombie, simply functioning.
But through the tiny glass a glorious prism does form,
Wondrous, magical, a new light slowly dawns.
Separated, but still one, a unique heart reborn,
A changed diamond, gleaming bright, not forlorn.
Never to be mended, those chances have gone,
But as the sun arises, life WILL go on.
Stand and face the mirror of truth with no fear of what you see,
For the answer lies within myself and I know that I am me.

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(2) comments

Joann April 23, 2015

Goodd… such a Beautiful and True poem!

Im in bad period Kim. I do not know who to reach out or… I have lost SO much in this Illusion Man, I have lost years of my life, he took my soul, my smile… my Hope, my friends… I am still ME exactly the way Poem says.

I have rebuilt my life and met many great people but also Predators that keep hunting me. What I been through made me way more vulnerable, like someone bitten by Vampire, and the others can tell. I am Stronger wiser…. Brave than I ever been and actually todays is my Birthday.

For coupple of Months at our so called “anniversary” in December I reached out to see him. I knew it was bad but I mainained NC for almost 3 years. !!!…. moven on as if nothing ever happened and is complete Copy Cat like has no identity of his own, he becomes mirrors his every New Womans tastes, but the actual FUN” starts when he turns tables Abuse, Degrade humiliation and ugly side. I saw it I been through it. he discarded me completely took off to the next

As I said, in the last months he kept finding reasons to come to Town I live in but directely nothing. I know what he is. I know what he done to me… In my mind I know but in my Heart I still love him. or whatever he was is

I grew up severely dysfunctional Family and educated myself so much on Disorders and NPD, my Mother is full blown, so are many of family reptiles, very successful but cold. Father is enabler, has his kindness but equally destructive N behaviours. I took My life in my hands. very very hard….

These last days I fallen and I feel so guilty… but in a way I dont you know? I mean how can you treat somneone ;like that ?? WHO does that? I loved him for YEARS… as dysfunctional as we both were but he gets off on silent treatmenting me punishing me. Last week I went out meent some new people and found some Ugly messages from anonimous account “you get out with X Y etc” I know its him. Hard for people to believe me but not impossible cause lately, DESPITE all smearing, minions fake friends, fake accounts he has…and how much he thinks he has destroided me… People start to see him more beyond his facade. it upsests him

And you know what else upsets him/ them? Happiness. Success seeing me living my life, beying Happy (again) even after his Hell.. can you believe I still reached out sent him some cuddling videos with animals, starting crying again because I remember and he wa like my Soul mate (lol for me at least)

I also suspect him of being secretely gay! What arent these creatures? How much they destroy? I pray to God … have mercy on me and my soul. Im tiored of Narcisists and though… still seem to round round them like a Magnet because it s what is familiar to me and so hard to Let Go. If I let go it seems as if I failed (given how “Successful” they are at pretending they are actualy healthy and happy individuals) but they are miserble sad creatures…. WHO does that? I loved him so much and still do despte the fact he is soooo sick in the head twisted. I do. maybe thats the sad part

I can only Hope and pray to God to give me strength… to put myself on my feet, and learn to completely CUT OFF LET GO of Narcisists… and truly embrace myself and love myself. Hard to rewrite history but it is Possible. I know it 🙂

LOVED the Poem its lovely whoever wrote it… so True!

Never give up friends!

JJ

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