We can get so caught up in trying to save the narcissist, especially when they confide in us how awful their childhood was and how they never stood a chance for a normal life.
It felt so real, this painful story, and all you wanted to do was show them that there is a true and comforting love available for them. Your love…and so you set out on a mission to prove that you could love them past all of their wounds and vulnerability.
He or she just needs my help and understanding, you tell yourself.
You shoulder the responsibility when they accuse you of not being understanding.
When you mention you anything about their relationship crimes, they respond with the Almighty, “I knew you didn’t love me enough! I knew you’d give up on me! You only care about yourself!”, thus effectively kicking your guilt into overdrive and renewing your resolve to show them “unconditional love”.
After all, there just might be some hope for them yet, right?
This video will help shed some light on whether your love can change the narcissist so you can stop floundering around worrying about all the variables and outcomes beyond your control which keep you in a state of helpless passivity.