The Narcissist’s Secret Playground – Burning Man

By Kim Saeed | Narcissism

Apr 22

*Warning* – Do not read this article if you are faint of heart regarding topics of a sexual nature

I almost didn’t write this article…mainly because I didn’t want to give any ideas to the few followers I have who are themselves narcissists…who follow my blog because they discovered their partner does, and so they monitor my site in an attempt to stay ahead of the game.

But, I decided I’d be doing more good than harm by informing all of my followers about the latest narcissistic craze.

Burning Man.

Now, I’m not saying that every person who attends this event is a narcissist, because there is a cultural  and spiritual element to it…many lives have been changed because of it.

But, that’s not what your narcissistic partner is seeking when he or she buys their ticket.

Unless you are into open relationships and the likelihood of your narcissistic partner having sex with multiple people while attending this event, then you may be scarred for life.  It’s definitely not something Empathic, Introverted HSPs can take lightly.

Seriously, if you meet the above personality criteria and your narcissistic partner has mentioned this event to you–even casually–you should seriously contemplate that there may be a critical compatibility issue in the relationship which will likely result in your being traumatized.

The Good

Burning Man apparently promotes academics and being green.  Their statement is:

A temporary metropolis dedicated to community, art, self-expression, and self-reliance. In this crucible of creativity, all are welcome.

And that’s precisely what the festival represents for most of the people who attend.

But, there’s a different element to the event that’s not fully described on the site.  While there is mention of sexual “adventure”, what they don’t really reveal is just how shocking the sexual aspect of the event can be.  While Burning Man doesn’t coordinate the sexual activities available there, it does allow shop owners to establish various “sex tents” on-site.

So, what ‘s the great attraction to Burning Man as it pertains to your narcissistic partner?  I did some research on the subject myself since it’s become a recurring struggle among some of my coaching clients whose toxic partners have gone or are making plans to attend.

Let me tell it to you straight–so you can compare notes in the event your narcissistic partner may be preparing to attend (or you discover their intentions without their telling you) – and it’s not because they want to check out the creative art.

The Low-Down

The media images available on the internet make Burning Man appear as a modern-day Woodstock.  Many describe it as a healing experience–which makes it unfortunate that so many of my clients have been traumatized by the event based on the reasons their narcissistic partners have wanted to go there.

Following is a sampling of why the narcissist wants to go to Burning Man, which is held in the Black Rock Desert in Nevada:

  • Threesomes
  • Partner Swapping
  • Prostitutes (who are willing to do ANYTHING)
  • Orgies of all flavors (such as this one here)
  • Classes on sadomasochism
  • Tantric sex workshops
  • Oral sex contests
  • Women and men walking around naked or in lingerie

Beautiful sexy woman walking in lace lingerie through desert

…and these activities are vanilla in nature compared to other things I discovered that I can’t write about here.

This year’s festival will be held August 28 – September 5, just in case your partner suddenly wants to go on a trip and “bond with the guys”.

As an aside, I realize that this event might be kosher for individuals of an adventurous spirit, but it’s definitely not for the faint of heart. Many eager folks who considered themselves as being in an open relationship and thought they’d be accepting of the whole Burning Man experience ended up parting ways after attending.

I can definitely say after having worked with narcissistic abuse victims whose partners attended the festival, it was one of the most traumatic experiences for them in regards to the manipulation they endured.

For those of you who are in this predicament and are afraid that disagreeing with your partner’s going to Burning Man makes you an old-fashioned, clingy, needy, and close-minded prude, that’s simply not true.  All parties in relationships are entitled to deal-breakers.

It’s one thing to agree to your partner going on a week-long fishing trip with the bros, but another entirely to give them the green-light to join Burning Man.

As for the school of thought that states, “we’re two separate entities that love and respect each other. All healthy relationships should be based on being two independent people choosing to come together and stay together out of friendship and love, not obligation.”—well, if you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, this mindset doesn’t apply given the nature of lies and concealment that narcissists take part in, which is certainly not healthy.

Narcissism aside, healthy relationship guidelines don’t include feeling obligated to allow your significant other to go into the middle of the desert with naked people, where drugs, a menu of sexual choices, and willing playmates are available around every corner.

If you’re not okay with it, you have the right to say so.  Allow the other person to make their decision, and if they choose to go after knowing how upsetting it would be to you, then you have the right to end the relationship.  You wouldn’t need to present this as an ultimatum.  Simply pack your things while they’re gone and hit the road…

Copyright © 2016 Kim Saeed and Let Me Reach. All Rights Reserved

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