Tips to Master Self-Discipline While Going No Contact

By Kim Saeed | Living Joyfully after No Contact

Apr 24
tips master self-discipline

One of the greatest gifts you can give yourself when detaching from a toxic relationship is learning to master the art of self-discipline. Learning how to tell yourself no is an important step to becoming a stronger and more resilient person.  This is especially true when you are trying to maintain No Contact with an emotional abuser.

While practicing self-discipline in the midst of urges to make contact isn’t easy, there are many benefits to mastering this art of personal control:

1 – Self-discipline can help you achieve your recovery goals and realize your dream of freedom. Many times, achieving the recovery goals you set for yourself requires you to sacrifice time, money and energy you might prefer to spend on other things. Are you willing to have this dedication? Are you willing to invest in resources that will help you escape your abusive situation instead of trying to lone-wolf it? 

People who are trying to escape a toxic relationship with a narcissist generally need supportive resources and people to help them through the withdrawal and emotional pain of detaching from love that hurts.  Are you taking empowering steps to remove yourself from a toxic relationship?

2 – Self-discipline helps you get more done. By cutting out time wasters in your day, you can accomplish more every day and reach your healing sooner. Without the self-discipline to stick to a task, you can be easily distracted by less important details. Are you willing to remove these distractions, such as deactivating the social media profiles you use to spy on your Ex?

3 – Self-discipline helps you have greater focus. By shutting out the things that take you away from your recovery goals, you can focus on what is most important. You can’t say yes to everything and everyone; you must be able to focus on one thing at a time and do it well. This might mean not going to the bar with your best friend on Saturday night, and instead staying home to watch feel-good rom coms and eat pizza.  It might mean instead of spending hours on Facebook every evening, you shut off your phone and spend time with your children or your pet.  

Focus is nearly impossible to achieve without self-discipline, and your recovery goals are nearly impossible to achieve without focus. Are you willing to focus intensely on extricating yourself from your abuser?  Are you willing to train yourself to engage in new, healing habits?

The keys to self-discipline are simple. If you make a commitment to yourself, guard it with your life!

Part of self-discipline is self-respect. In order to live the life you truly desire, you need to care for yourself properly.

Respect every part of yourself:

1 – Respect your body. Pay attention to the signals your body sends you. We’re masterfully created, and your body will tell you when something is out of balance. Listen to the signals and treat yourself with VIP handling to be the strongest and most productive you can be!

Consider adding exercise or yoga to your daily routine to help you achieve balance in your body and mind.

2 – Nurture your mind by filling it with positive, engaging information.

  • Read books about recovery instead of reading the 100th book about narcissists.
  • Engage in meaningful discussions with people of all backgrounds and philosophies, thereby taking your mind away from the abuse and helping your brain develop new synapses and thought patterns instead of hard-wiring it to obsess about the narcissist.
  • Avoid negative people and conversations.  Stay away from nay-sayers and gossip hounds.
  • Listen to joyful, uplifting music or healing affirmations instead of letting the television flood your mind with commercialism and negativity.

3 – Respect the spiritual part of yourself. It’s important to feel connected to something larger than you are. Connect with your Creator by meditating, praying or spending time in nature.

  • Attend worship services at a local church, if that’s part of your belief system.
  • Allow the spiritual side of yourself to become stronger and more important to you.
  • Base decisions on the greater good rather than simply what feels good at the time.

4 – Respect your physical health. Taking good care of your health requires self-discipline. Your body will help you accomplish amazing things if you treat it properly!

  • Eat a healthy diet.  Empaths and Highly Sensitive people in particular need to eat a healthy diet to avoid adrenal burnout.
  • Get plenty of rest and exercise.  Exercise not only helps release endorphins, it clears out your lymphatic system.
  • Strive to maintain a healthy weight.
  • Refuse to smoke.
  • Avoid over indulging in caffeine or alcohol.  
  • If quitting both cigarettes and alcohol at the same time seems like too much of a burden, quit one first and work on the other later.

5 – Respect your time. This includes your work time, family time, playtime and personal time. Make space in your life for every area. Schedule family time and alone time just as you do work time and other obligations.

  • By adding everything to your written agenda, you create a priority within yourself and self-discipline helps you stick to your priorities.

If you want to live your life to the fullest and achieve your goals, self-discipline is a must. Learning how to control your impulses and make strong decisions is one of the best things you can do for yourself. This kind of discipline can bring you the life and peace of mind you desperately need.

Download your free 30-Day No Contact Calendar below to help you master self-discipline while going No Contact!

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About the Author

Kim Saeed is a recognized relationship and new life educator specializing in helping narcissistic abuse survivors to heal, rebuild, find purpose, and live joyfully after No Contact. In 2013, she founded Let Me Reach, a life transformation company that teaches people to flourish after toxic relationships.

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