The average human lives for 27,000 days. A third of that time is spent sleeping. This leaves you with the scary amount of just 18,000. If you’ve been feeling that you’re wasting your life, can you afford to waste even one more minute?
Are you making the most of every moment? Are you living to your full potential? Do you feel satisfied, happy and pleased with your life?
If you’re doing any of the following six things, you are most likely left feeling unfulfilled. But fear not. In this article, you will find the solution.
1) Surrounding yourself with the wrong people
I’m a big fan of the African, humanist philosophy called Ubuntu. At its most basic, it states that: ‘A person is a person through other people’. Who you choose to associate with will have an influence on who you are. This means that surrounding yourself with narcissists, manipulators, and abusers will lead to deep unhappiness. If you’re a fundamentally decent and good person, you will most likely hope and believe that people can change. But there often comes a point where you need to cut your losses and admit that a relationship may be permanently toxic. Knowing when to do this requires well-developed intuitive powers.
2) Complaining without acting
We all need to vent and let off steam from time to time, and this is mostly a harmless form of stress management. But if you’re a habitual complainer you may be forming an emotional trap that you will find it very hard to escape from. Science has proven that defaulting to complaints and negativity actually rewires your brain to automatically see the worst in any situation.
Thinking positively is not only a better use of your time, but it may also become a self-fulfilling prophecy, leading to increased happiness.
3) Being too stubborn or proud to ask for help
Humans are social animals. Our evolution and place in the world are both largely thanks to our ability to cooperate with one another. By refusing to ask for help, you are negating one of nature’s great gifts. You end up stuck in a situation or with a problem that may be easily solvable. Again, return to the concept of Ubuntu. We live our lives through others. There is no reason to fail when help is at hand.
4) Letting others make your life decisions
According to Bronnie Ware, a hospice nurse who’s listened to thousands of patients reckon with the inevitable end of life, there’s one regret that is more frequent than all the others, and it isn’t what you expect – living your life according to others’ expectations rather than your own true desires.
“This was the most common regret of all,” she says. “When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled.”
There are many reasons we do this, from societal or peer pressure to a natural tendency towards conformism. The most damaging reason, however, is a lack of trust in our decision-making abilities. This is where connecting with your inner self can really help you, as you learn to listen to and trust your inner voice, you realize that no one makes better decisions about your life than yourself, fully empowered and in control.
5) Chasing short-term pleasures instead of long-term happiness
Scientists have found that we experience two types of happiness. The first type, known as eudaimonic well-being, is happiness associated with a sense of purpose or a meaning in life. This is the happiness one feels in a child’s achievement, knowing that your good parenting has paid off, or the happiness we feel when helping others or fulfilling a long-term goal.
The second is hedonic well-being, which is the short-lived satisfaction we get from sating a desire. Shopping, binge eating, or giving into a narcissistic hoover may feel instantly good, but science has also shown that they create a sense of anxiety if sought out habitually or used as a substitute for real happiness.
6) Ignoring your feelings and emotions
This issue may be much more prevalent in men, but it has reached almost epidemic proportions in Western society. ‘Don’t be so emotional’ is often used as a stick to beat people with, while society paints women as emotional, irrational, and therefore inferior. Men are taught to value rationality above all else and scorned and belittled for showing their emotions. Yet almost every single great thinker in human history has been forthright about their reliance on intuition.
Scientists have labeled intuition the highest form of intelligence, and everyone from motivational speakers to psychologists is constantly telling us of the power and reliability of intuitive thinking. This may be the hardest habit to break, as it has been so ingrained in many of us. Yet, in order to live a happy, fulfilling life, you need to understand your needs, feelings, and emotions completely.
The Journey to Your Most Authentic Self
Why not strike out the items on this checklist as you go on a journey to your best self?
Accepting your true self does not require you to BECOME anything. If you find that you’re trying to change, modify, or find a more authentic you, it might indicate that you’re on the wrong path. It’s all about who you are right now as you read this article, and it is embracing all of your beauty and awkwardness together in the present moment. It is impossible to experience authenticity without a radical acceptance of all that you are right now.
Many of us are still reeling from the outcome of the pandemic, feeling tired, wearied, and numb. Try to heal the soul-level exhaustion and gently befriend yourself once again. Align with your true, authentic self so you can call in joy and fulfillment that have eluded you…until now.
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…and feel confident that you’ll never fall for fake or exploitative ‘love’ again.
…and if these words are speaking to you, then feel free to consider joining THRIVE.
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